_________________________________
Membership in M.O.M is by invitation only,
although unsolicited applications are welcome and all applications are subject to approval by The Star Chamber admissions panel. Submit your information via the provided email link below, then hold your breath or whatever you're most comfortable holding until you've heard from M.O.M. You are also encouraged to post a greeting on the thread, but only emails submitted here will be considered as applications.
Yes! I have been invited to apply for membership in M.O.M! Yay me! I will now submit my information here: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Required information:
Name of M.O.M invitor, your first name, in-game name, forum name, age, location, a brief introductory bit about yourself and why in this or any man's hell you would want to join M.O.M.
_________________________________
The Star Chamber
(look it up)
M.O.M's board of admissions
BeaTea
Bellsaj
Big Tex
bloBuLaRZ
BluEMaX
Bopes
BStrachan
Buckgeo
Cricket
Dentinhead
Farkinell
Flying Muck
Gizmo
hansone
Jimmy the Lip
KA5EY
KTtheo
MaDtotheMoM
¥M4rtin¥
Oedius
Parrothead
RiC0
Von Len
. wig!
YEMX
_________________________________
. wig!/Wigbomb/Rick/New York City, New York, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
B Strachan/Brian/Newark, California, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
Dentinhead/Brett/Pennsylvania, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
farkinell/Farcanal/Jamie/Northland, New Zealand
beatea/btschuman/Tom/Jenks, Oklahoma, USA
Seattle/Don/Seattle, Washington, USA
Big Tex/Hal/San Antonio, Texas, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
SB467
RiC0/Mavrk12/Al/Wichita, Kansas, USA
oedius/Steve/Abilene,Texas,USA
FLYMAGIC/Paul Mantz, Jr./Paul/Newport, Rhode Island, USA
Prompter/Gary-the-pink/Gary/Carleton Place, Ontario, Canada
whitenow/whitenow/Ryan/Charleston, South Carolina, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
Allan/allan/Mario/Frankfurt am Main, Germany
M.O.R.A.F.
Fela~ ~ ~bad/felabad/Felipe/Hamilton, New Jersey, USA
M.O.MAv8rDennis/Av8rDennis/Dennis/Jacksonville, Florida, USA
Sparky8977/Sparky8977/Ron/USA
Trigger/Scott/Charlotte, North Carolina, USA
Fredneck/Illinois, USA
Doghouse666/doghouse/Ed/Mammoth Lakes, California, USA
Chanoc
junkie61/junkhole61/Kevin/Woodstock, Illinois, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
Capt. Montebon
keithg83/Keith
ender@[MOM]/Ender/Rommel/Manila, Philippines
M.O.R.A.F.
jonyoung/JPisski
DIESEL/k man/Kemer/Spring Valley, Wisconsin, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
Sputnik/[e]Sputnik/Jesus/Calumet City, Illinois, USA
Joe Nailer/Joe/USA
fudgepops/fudgepops/Hunter/Riverbank, California, USA
Goose/G00SE/Luke/USA
Bricksalvage/Tom/Chicago, Illinois, USA
Atilla/Erik/Maastricht, Netherlands
Clay god/Clayton/Nanaimo,British Columbia, Canada
M.O.R.A.F.
dibley/Wayne/Aberdeen, Scotland
Quiet/Quiet/Matt
StreetsbadnewS/streetsbadnews/Christopher/Cleveland, Ohio, USA
Half-Life/dav1dhowell/David/Henderson, Texas, USA
Firefox 1/James/UK
M.O.R.A.F.
OhNo/OhNo/Randall/Houston, Texas, USA
Jose One Konobi
Butterfly/Shqiptar/Stockholm, Sweden
Blue Max/Blue Max Young/Randy/Alva, Oklahoma, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
Cubanoloco91/Cubanoloco91/Jorge/Tampa, Florida, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
Jans79/Jans79/Jan/Republic of Slovenia, Europe
M.O.R.A.F.
Mmiller26/Mmiller26/Matt/Wortham, Texas, USA
bayou dog/bayou dog/Josh/New Orleans, Louisiana, USA
McCudden/[56thMcCudden/John/Middlesbrough, UK
M.O.R.A.F.
MBello/Melvin/San Jose, Costa Rica
crazynut/crazynut/Jason/Pennsylvania, USA
Cpt. Harkness/Steve/Buffalo, New York, USA
Lapa/Andrey/Moscow, Russia
M.O.R.A.F.
Baz/Baz/Luton, Bedfordshire, UK
mxmike/Mike/Laguna Niguel, California, USA
Donm775/Don/Otago, New Zealand
M.O.R.A.F.
Hospitaller/Bill/USA
von ripper/Jeff/North Carolina, USA
SirConway/Frank
Fab§F.A.B/Ted/Fabio/Sao Paolo, Brasil
M.O.R.A.F.
Lesa/Lesa/wig's sweetheart/Tokyo, Japan
.wayne./Wayne/ USA
^^!Mr.Lee!^^/Wallace/Auburn, Maine, USA
Mudpuppy/Kevin/West Virginia, USA
Blue Max Stock/Rod/Santiago, Chile
M.O.R.A.F.
bama21/Dalton/Danville, Alabama, USA
[]JoeChisten[]/Joe/Los Angeles, California, USA
INoSpeakAmericano/Joe/Ohio, USA
<<Alpha Q>>/Eliezer/Napa, California, USA
DEECEE/Dee/Scottsdale, Arizona, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
ean/Ireland
Dutch joke/Frank/Den Bosch, The Netherlands
Mr. Re@p/Lachlan/Australia
Schnelli
ParrotHead/ParrotHead/Gary/Raleigh, North Carolina, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
bloBuLaRZ/blobularz/Simeon/North Shore, Waialua, Hawaii, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
EddieRickenbacker M.O.R.A.F.
Shatners Bassoon/Chris/Sheffield, UK
M.O.R.A.F.
Delfi +/Dem Airforce +
M.O.R.A.F.
RacinMadness/RacinMadns/Steve/Seattle, Washington, USA
beanboy/beanboy/Thom/Raleigh, North Carolina, USA
Sgt. York/Ted/Bloomington, Illinois, USA
Mac!/Mac/Hudson, Wisconsin, USA
Dadzie/Nana/Alexandria, Virginia, USA
Officer RKM/Ram/Jharkhand, India
Patrice71Patrice/Brittany, France
bopes/John/Jersey City, New Jersey, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
KTtheo/Keith/UK
M.O.R.A.F.
Flying muck/Flyingmuck/John/Peterborough, Cambridgeshire, UK
Dannydrooler/Dan/Berkeley, California, USA
hansone/Scott/upstate sticks, New York, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
!Zecke!/Rafael/Hamburg, Germany
M.O.R.A.F.
jimboslice27/Jim/Chicago. Illinois, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
Lou Sassol/Don/Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
MICHAEL KANE/Andrew/Bury St. Edmunds, Suffolk, UK
M.O.R.A.F.
Xuan K. Zamora/Xuano/McAllen, Texas, USA
Hoagie/USA
*Cheetah*975/Gustavo/Curitiba, Brasil
Puma*727*/Luiz/Curitiba, Brasil
doggy dix/Johannes/Södermanland, Sweden
MaDtotheMoM/madtothebone1/Anthony/Staines-Upon-Thames, UK
KA5EY/KA5EY/Greg/Roanoke, Virginia, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
Onsekone/Vesa/Finland
in-pipe/Michael/Magnolia, Texas, USA
Frank Baracca/Paolo/Cesena, Italy
M.O.R.A.F.
Suxxor/Greg/San Diego, California, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
Rudolf Rednose/Ed/The Netherlands
Kpt. Bomba/Piotr/Warsaw, Poland
M.O.R.A.F.
Goddo/David/Nottingham, UK
ed latts/Ed/Selden, Long Island, New York, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
3011USMC8152/Nate/Sacramento, California, USA
DYS/Tom/Hereford, UK
Coreytnr/Corey/Dallas, Texas, USA
Sir Thomas Black/Tomi/Zagreb, Croatia
Randolph Scott/Jeremiah/Milaca, Minnesota, USA
YEMX/BrianC219/Brian/Moyock, North Carolina, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
Gizmo1/Gizmo541/Kevin/South Yorkshire, UK
M.O.R.A.F.
Zandor Hawke/ZandorHawke/Rob/Fort Worth, Texas, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
Marko99/Mark/Geneva, Switzerland
M.O.R.A.F.
Yakuza/Pete/Brisbane, Austrailia
M.O.R.A.F.
Netredding/Rick/Redding, California, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
Primal/Matt/Sacramento, California, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
The striker16/Kyle/USA
Pablo~Harlem/Paul/New York City, New York, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
bts/Simon/Pembrokeshire, Wales
\....GAW.....//Glenn/Huntington, West Virginia, USA
Cpt. Black/Nestor/California, USA
Japan!Kuls
Dr. CurtisShoe/Kurt/Kent, Ohio, USA
¥M4rtin¥/Martin/New Jersey, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
Von Len/Len/Quartz Hill, California, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
Brian257/Brian/Green Cove Springs, Florida, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
philip06/Philip06/Philip/Allen, Texas, USA
Cricket/Chuck/Detroit, Michigan, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
CRAZYWOLF/Dave/Virginia, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
M. Penalba/Mauricio/Nicaragua
M.O.R.A.F.
Flybot/Bill/Des Moines, Iowa, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
Hornswoggler/Eric/St. Mary's, Georgia, USA
Hornswoggler, Jr./Eric/St. Mary's, Georgia, USA
TX LAWMAN/Chris/Denton, Texas, USA
Legless_Killer/Ganady/Denton, Texas, USA
Jet12345/Halle/Denton, Texas, USA
Auroris/Tony/UK
Smittystyle/Shane/Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA
xRude..!..Boyx/Dahsten/Ewa Beach, Hawaii, USA
~*Minotaur*~/Alexandre/Santarém, Brasil
fbt fighter/Terry/Frankfort, Indiana, USA
wannacut/Alan/Postfalls, Idaho, USA
Bellsaj/Bellsaj/Anders/Umea, Sweden
M.O.R.A.F.
Buckgeo/Jeff/Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
M.O.R.A.F.
J4ff/Giovanni/Newcastle,UK
M.O.R.A.F.
Dragon 800/Dragon 08/Scott/Vail, Colorado, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
Chocks Away/Simon/Carmarthen, Carmarthenshire, UK
T Man/Taj/Spring Valley, Wisconsin, USA
Diverb/Brian/Michigan, USA
GHOSTRIDER1/Brad/Olney, Texas, USA
M.O.R.A.F.
TadpoleofDoom/Justin/Missouri, USA
Poc96/Pat/Chicago, Illinois, USA
Auld/Alex/Feira De Santana, Brasil
M.O.R.A.F.
Marshall/Marshall/USA
Hydrofire/Steffan/Bergen, Norway
wallyghee/Tufa/Te Puke, New Zealand
Bill Maher/Bill/Nashville, Tennessee, USA
Whiskers/Leo/UK
Maki Boy/Marcus/Huskvarna, Sweden
M.I.A. M.O.Ms
(Members not currently active in-game)
ScheiBe Kopf/SheiBe Kopf/Chet/Dallas-Fort Worth, Texas, USA
HatinRing
iQQi
Gaavster
FatBob
LD Dutchkiller
Nazis/Venezuela
*Cloudbuster*
BLAKHAWK/Cody/Jackson, Tennessee, USA
A-9101/salento/Peter/Fredrikstad, Norway
Snoopy !!
polishbob
Godza
Panos/Panos1983/Panos/Lexington, Kentucky, USA
Shiver/Chris/Tustin, California, USA
Susi-Harakiri/Iwata/Yokohama, Japan
--bob--
SplanMan/Dave/Tracy, California,USA
ICARUS/Jon/South Carolina, USA
ZzSilentKillerzZ/John/Brooklyn, New York, USA
Chuck Norris/Josh/Hayden, Idaho, USA
pffft/Gav/New Zealand
Esox Magus/Esox Magus/Steve/USA
Sonnycruz77/Sonnycruz77/Edward/Le Sueur, Minnesota. USA
Whiskey/Drew/Spokane, Washington, USA
Captain Noushbag/Ali/USA M.O.R.A.F.
(97 Kills)/Charles/USA
RoyMay/BillyMay/Doug/Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
MAD===DOG/James/Knoxville, Tennessee, USA
Ender213/Alexis/Los Angeles, California, USA
5L3V1N/Gary/UK
Jangsoo122/Jangsoo12/Jang Soo/West Lafayette, Indiana, USA
Conoco
_________________________________
M.O.M Girdles the Globe!
CLICK ANYWHERE just below the historic photo of Stanley Kubrick's faked moon landing for an interactive map of just how world dominant M.O.M would be if we ever cared enough to get organized! Then be impressed by the many different places at which we live at!
_________________________________
Official Rules and Owner’s Manual for your 2014 MOM LX7000
The following rules are to be adhered to on pain of horrible death, or something really serious:
Rule 1 – There are no rules in M.O.M.
Rule 2 – There is no lying in M.O.M.
Rule 3 – Rule 2 is a lie.
Rule 4 – No member of M.O.M. will engage in team killing (shooting at members of his own team) spawn killing (shooting at the comic book character Spawn) or spawn raping (we don’t recommend raping anyone but if you must, we recommend you try to rape Spawn. Give us a heads up first so we can come watch.) We regard these practices as craven, dishonorable, weak, gutless, moronic and none of us engages in any of them more than once or twice per mission.
Rule 5 – Language: we encourage the use of language in M.O.M. Hand gestures don’t work so hot online.
Rule 7 – Counting to 7 was our favorite subject to skip in school so we could go out back and have us a smoke of...we mean, do some independent horticultural research. Education is a wonderful thing.
Rule 8 – Any member who doesn’t show up on time for his shift will be docked a half day’s pay. As our many fine British M.O.Ms would say, half of f*ckall adds up fast. Keep it in mind when your crack dealer comes around to collect. You were warned about slacking off.
Rule 9 – All members of M.O.M. must be courteous and polite to fellow players. Say “Thank you so much” after shooting someone down. If it happens to be a player you despise, say, “Thank you so much you miserable mother f*cking son of a b*tch.” Then strafe him in his chute.
Rule 10 – All members will adhere to the M.O.M. Principles of Flight, as follows:
Fly at least a little above the ground.
Shoot the red guys.
Bomb stuff.
Have some cake.
Amendments to the MOMstitution
Rule 11 - In "Dogfight" aka "Free For All" (FFA) missions, M.O.Ms may elect to refrain from shooting other M.O.M's. "Rule 11" is the call. "Okay!", "Roger!" or "Piss Off, you die" are all acceptable responses. This is not compulsory, merely one of the pleasant aspects of being a M.O.M. If you wish to kill fellow M.O.M's, good luck with that. But do NOT kill another M.O.M without first declaring your compliance with Rule 11 or lack of compliance therewith. Some M.O.M members treat Dogfight missions as the nearest we'll ever get to "Squad Wars" without heavy doses of hallucinogens. We are a team, it's nice to occasionally have the chance to function as such. We do NOT, however, gang up on non-M.O.M players. A "Race to fifteen" is one way to view it, patrolling together is another. But no unfair advantage should be derived other than an obviously exponentially multiplied measure of charm. Assuming non-M.O.Ms find it charming being ganged-up on.
_________________________________
Age and Other Requirements for Membership in M.O.M.:
Pilots applying for squadron membership must be between the ages of 21 and 174. Unless you’re really, really good. Then you can be 3 and we wouldn’t give a rat’s ascot.
For the most part M.O.M. pilots are in their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, 70’s after which point we forget how to count that high or what we just had for lunch. It looked like it used to be peas.
Anyone of any age may apply to join M.O.M. A select few underage pilots will be admitted as “Prodigy” members and treated like dirt. Prodigy M.O.Ms can get even by treating their own kids like dirt when they’re as old as non-Prodigy members of M.O.M.
Applications will be subject to review by the M.O.M.Star Chamber (look it up) consisting of: B Strachan, BeaTea, Big Tex, bopes, Dentinhead, Flying Muck, an albino raccoon called Jimmy the Lip, Gizmo, hansone, Ktheo, MadtotheMom, ¥M4rtin¥, oedius, Parrothead, RiC0, Farkinell, Bellsaj, bloBuLaRZ, BluE MaX, Cricket, Buckgeo, KA5EY, Von Len, YEMX, . wig!. In case of an 8-7 tie the applicant him/herself will have the tie breaking vote and the vote will be a compulsory "undecided in absentia".
Applications should be submitted in the form of a hand written email on standard 8.5x11 paper with decorations in either poster paint, colored pencil, crayon or the blood of a virgin. Some form of death and/or ice hockey must be incorporated into the imagery. A forum post containing the words, “Hey you old clowns, can I join?” will also be acceptable.
Bribery is encouraged and will almost certainly get you in. Cash is preferred but hookers, crack, liquor, DVD’s or virgins (with blood still intact) will be considered. Strachan likes a nice redhead and SheiBe prefers a vintage Chardonnay. The rest of us aren’t that particular.
If you believe that a game can be played with utmost respect, honor and dignity...you've lost the plot. And you've lost the word "game". We have something you can salute right here. If, however, you believe in the spirit of friendly competition, competitive goofiness and goofy friendliness, and you can spell the word "in", you're practically in. Above all M.O.M. is dedicated to the having of fun. Even if it means killing you. There isn’t much we wouldn’t do for a laugh, and seeing you die is fairly high on the list. Become one of us or risk utter and complete annihilation at the hands and feet (especially the feet) of M.O.M. Or, y’know, just, um, like…don’t. That’d be cool, too.
Our Founder
MOMifesto
We, the members of M.O.M., The Mean Old Men, dedicate ourselves to the following principles:
We don’t know what principles are, strictly speaking, so none of these are likely to be one.
We take everything about M.O.M really, really seriously. There is no humor in M.O.M.
Intolerance will not be tolerated. No player, person or pixel is too white, too black, too large, too small, too male, female, advanced or insignificant to be shot. All M.O.M’s children are equal, and all are equally dead in the eyes of M.O.M.
MOM membership age restrictions must always be observed and enforced. Therefore, any player found to be of any age will be summarily killed.
If you speak to other players with disrespect, rudeness, cruelty or hatred MOM will hunt you down and destroy you. And laugh without saying LOL. It’s a sardonic laugh, not a funny laugh. Remember, no humor.
There are no such words as LOL, ROFLMAO, prolly, cya, thx or sry. Use them and you will be killed by M.O.M. Unless you are in M.O.M. Then you can say whatever you please.
M.O.M decrees that all twelve year olds must die.
M.O.M decrees that all fourteen year olds must die.
M.O.M decrees that all sixteen year olds…you get the idea.
Get the hell off our lawn.
All those who observe the M.O.M squad tag in combat and who do not, themselves, bear the M.O.M squad tag, must immediately autodestroy. Any member of M.O.M who observes a non-member of M.O.M not autodestroying after observing a member of M.O.M may manually destroy that non-M.O.M member, and will. There are no exceptions except as stipulated in Rule #6.
M.O.M does not maintain an independent web site because M.O.M does not care enough. And nobody in M.O.M would visit the site because all M.O.M members are much too mean. Web sites are for the young. Killing the young without needing a web site is for M.O.M.
CAKE tastes good.
M.O.M Squadron members acknowledge their pseudo-siblinghood in the skies and pledge themselves to uphold the principle (without knowing what a principle is) that M.O.M does not suck but you, if you are not M.O.M, do.
Religious zealotry will not be countenanced within the ranks of M.O.M. If you are a Muslim M.O.M will throw a Christian at you and kill you. If you are a Jew M.O.M will throw a Hindu at you and kill you. Within individual religions M.O.M will beat a Protestant to death using a Catholic as a club. We accept all faiths, philosophies, lifestyles, preferences, and kill them. Buddhists get a pass on this one because they’re nice.
In summary; M.O.M patrols the skies of Dogfight, the tiny game with the great big list of squadrons that so far don’t do anything, killing everything hateful, cruel, insensitive, unkind, disrespectful or alive. And particularly young alive things. M.O.M hates those the most. Young things make M.O.M feel mean.
We, the pilots of M.O.M, fight for Truth, Justice, and the Mean Old Way. Now, seriously, get the hell off our lawn. Don’t make M.O.M tell you twice.
