Davy, I am currently drinking a cup of coffee. At this time, it is either half full or half empty. Which is it? I cannot finish it till you answer my question.

Oh GENERAL, how long will i be with you. What would you do without me.

First off your coffee cup is probably twice as big as it should be. Also the cup is neither half full nor half empy. THE CUP IS FULL EITHER OF COFFEE OR AIR.

THANK ABOUT IT GENERAL, I KNOW YOU ARE FROM THE SOUTH BUT GEEEE WIZZZZZ.

I AM SORRY GERNERAL FOR THE SARCASM, THAT WAS UN CALLED FOR. THE ONLY STUPID QUESTIONS ARE THE ONES NOT ASKED. YOU DID A VERY GOOD JOB ASKING THAT QUESTION, IM SO VERY PROUD OF YOU.

BY THE WAY I HAVE CUPS OF AIR FOR SALE IF YOU ARE INTERESTED.

Dear DAVY,

I skipped to court today.
My attorney got me off of the charge of indecent exposure by explaining that Hot Pink is a summer color; ipso-facto decent. I presented my testicalmony and the judge commended you for your aid to the aged.

My friends and my attorney were relieved. As was myself. So, I went to relieve myself.

It wasn't until I was completely relieved and stood up, that I discovered you were correct again. THEY ARE WATCHING!
My problem now is serious. Not one of those crappy ones.

I am being accused of being a lawyer.


Please HELP!

Paul

Paul Mantz, Jr. wrote: Dear DAVY,

I skipped to court today.
My attorney got me off of the charge of indecent exposure by explaining that Hot Pink is a summer color; ipso-facto decent. I presented my testicalmony and the judge commended you for your aid to the aged.

My friends and my attorney were relieved. As was myself. So, I went to relieve myself.

It wasn't until I was completely relieved and stood up, that I discovered you were correct again. THEY ARE WATCHING!
My problem now is serious. Not one of those crappy ones.

I am being accused of being a lawyer.

Warning: Spoiler!

Please HELP!

Paul

DAVY SAYS, THANK YOU PAUL. I TELL YOU ALL WE ARE BEING WATCHED EVERYWHERE. I SENT MY WIFE OVER IMMEDIATELY TO GET THE CAMERA.

Manfred wrote:

Davy Crockett wrote: I've been asked to start a ASK DAVY tread, i guess my infinite knowledge and expert wisdom has been a subject for deep discussion and appreciation in the FORUM.

I will try real hard to give serious answers to your questions. This thread is absolutely free, no money will exchange hands, however tips are accepted, just PM me and I will give you mailing address.

The Official ASK DAVY Dogfight Disclaimer:
New readers and puckerbutts may find elements of this thread, or perhaps the entire thread, offensive to themselves and to others. If you are a puckerbutt (someone who puckers at the slightest hint of potential offense even when only humor is intended), there is not much we can do. If you are new to the forum, please understand that this thread is meant for humor, or at least a genuine but feeble attempt at it. To those new readers, we apologize to your affected groups, including but not limited to:
- Women
- Men
- Men with nipples
- Men with one nipple
- Women with flaws
- People of color
- People with no color
- People with many colors
- Horses
- Glue
- Full House fans
- James Gandolfini fans
- Zebras with black stripes
- Zebras with white stripes
- People who limp
- People who skip
- People who eat tootsie pops
- Men who need duct tape
- Men who don't
- Psychics
- Pychics
- Miss Hell and the extended Hell Family
- People who sniff
- People who smell
- People who stink
- People with missing earlobes
- Men who don't listen
- Two year old kids
- Capitalists
- And National Governments that fly black helicopters and listen to everything you say

MANFRED, PLEASE UPDATE DISCLAIMER. ASAP, PLEASE INCLUDE SOCCER PLAYERS. ALREADY HAD UGLY COMPLAINTS

THANK YOU.

Davy, why did this thread dissapear?

[DD]FuzzyFlyer3 wrote: Davy, why did this thread dissapear?

Davy says,

Dear fuzzy, thank you sir for your interest in this thread. I believe the reason it disappeared is because my answers were to funny and several people could no longer fly straight as they were laughing to hard.

haha LMA.OFF AND OUT THE DOOR! HAHA DCNGID XD lol Heres a few of my questions what ur favorite color? an How many legs does an monkey have if you count his tail as a leg? also if London Bridge is standing what type of Idiots made a song about it falling down???
P.S heres a math question i got :\ (hate these) lol so if there are 17 pineapples and you take away 5, how many do you have?
thanks in advance

uh..... where are th secret tunnels in dogfight

what does the Fox say,?

[M] MISFIT CROCKETT wrote:

Manfred wrote:

Davy Crockett wrote: I've been asked to start a ASK DAVY tread, i guess my infinite knowledge and expert wisdom has been a subject for deep discussion and appreciation in the FORUM.

I will try real hard to give serious answers to your questions. This thread is absolutely free, no money will exchange hands, however tips are accepted, just PM me and I will give you mailing address.

The Official ASK DAVY Dogfight Disclaimer:
New readers and puckerbutts may find elements of this thread, or perhaps the entire thread, offensive to themselves and to others. If you are a puckerbutt (someone who puckers at the slightest hint of potential offense even when only humor is intended), there is not much we can do. If you are new to the forum, please understand that this thread is meant for humor, or at least a genuine but feeble attempt at it. To those new readers, we apologize to your affected groups, including but not limited to:
- Women
- Men
- Men with nipples
- Men with one nipple
- Women with flaws
- People of color
- People with no color
- People with many colors
- Horses
- Glue
- Full House fans
- James Gandolfini fans
- Zebras with black stripes
- Zebras with white stripes
- People who limp
- People who skip
- People who eat tootsie pops
- Men who need duct tape
- Men who don't
- Psychics
- Pychics
- Miss Hell and the extended Hell Family
- People who sniff
- People who smell
- People who stink
- People with missing earlobes
- Men who don't listen
- Two year old kids
- Capitalists
- And National Governments that fly black helicopters and listen to everything you say

MANFRED, PLEASE UPDATE DISCLAIMER. ASAP, PLEASE INCLUDE SOCCER PLAYERS. ALREADY HAD UGLY COMPLAINTS

THANK YOU.

- Women
- Men
- Men with nipples
- Men with one nipple
- Women with flaws
- People of color
- People with no color
- People with many colors
- Horses
- Glue
- Full House fans
- James Gandolfini fans
- Zebras with black stripes
- Zebras with white stripes
- People who limp
- People who skip
- People who eat tootsie pops
- Men who need duct tape
- Men who don't
- Psychics
- Pychics
- Miss Hell and the extended Hell Family
- People who sniff
- People who smell
- People who stink
- People with missing earlobes
- Men who don't listen
- Two year old kids
- Capitalists
- And National Governments that fly black helicopters and listen to everything you say
- Democrats
- Terrorists
- Soccer Players
- People who call "football" "soccer"
- Republicans
- Ask.com users
- YouTubers
- People who play Farmville
- Dog-Cat hybrids
- Cat-Fish hybrids
- People who side with Argentina in the Falklands War even though Britain won it 30 years ago
- Toyota drivers
- Kia drivers
- And kangaroos

I added a few . Also here is my question.
How many Ukrainian cars would you blow up for a Klondike bar?

10 mins ago Vladimir Putin replied: 10,Maybe 11.

My answer is 0 since I hate Klondike bars.

King of the Skys wrote: haha LMA.OFF AND OUT THE DOOR! HAHA DCNGID XD lol Heres a few of my questions what ur favorite color? an How many legs does an monkey have if you count his tail as a leg? also if London Bridge is standing what type of Idiots made a song about it falling down???
P.S heres a math question i got :\ (hate these) lol so if there are 17 pineapples and you take away 5, how many do you have?
thanks in advance

Favorite color is rainbow

A monkey has four limbs as you can see from picture. The tail is used for balance although I cannot see the tail.

You ask "who would want a bridge to fall down" UNIONS AND UNION THUGS. rebuilding that bridge would provide many bloated over inflated union jobs that would waste millions of dollars that could be saved by hiring into the public sector. However hiring unions provide lots of kickback money to our illustrious politicians who are in desperate need of the kickback payoffs.

17-5=6

See picture, if you hired 400 union workers 300 of them would be doing what this monkey is doing. 50 would be standing near the work watching the other 50 work.

FOX#1 [BB] wrote: what does the Fox say,?

Davy says, I have to admit I really don't know what the FOX says, you see, when I usually shoot the fox he is a long distance away and by the time I plunge my knife into his FURRY NICE BODY he is usually to weak to scream. Sometimes I hear a small yelp though.

They sure make beautiful hats.

How is this thread not breaking the internet as we know it?

Is the sun spinning around the galaxy or is the galaxy spinning around the sun spinning around the earth while Susie eats an apple or after?? If so, how many pancakes can fit on my roof?

Davy, my keen senses have led me to an answer for Fuzzy. Fuzzy, the answer you seek is rainbow cotton candy riding a giraffe tripped out on LSD.

[M] MISFIT CROCKETT wrote:

FOX#1 [BB] wrote: what does the Fox say,?

Davy says, I have to admit I really don't know what the FOX says, you see, when I usually shoot the fox he is a long distance away and by the time I plunge my knife into his FURRY NICE BODY he is usually to weak to scream. Sometimes I hear a small yelp though.

They sure make beautiful hats.

Dear Davy...serious question here...why do they call it a pair of pants but only one bra?

Allied wrote:

[M] MISFIT CROCKETT wrote:

Manfred wrote:

Davy Crockett wrote: I've been asked to start a ASK DAVY tread, i guess my infinite knowledge and expert wisdom has been a subject for deep discussion and appreciation in the FORUM.

I will try real hard to give serious answers to your questions. This thread is absolutely free, no money will exchange hands, however tips are accepted, just PM me and I will give you mailing address.

The Official ASK DAVY Dogfight Disclaimer:
New readers and puckerbutts may find elements of this thread, or perhaps the entire thread, offensive to themselves and to others. If you are a puckerbutt (someone who puckers at the slightest hint of potential offense even when only humor is intended), there is not much we can do. If you are new to the forum, please understand that this thread is meant for humor, or at least a genuine but feeble attempt at it. To those new readers, we apologize to your affected groups, including but not limited to:
- Women
- Men
- Men with nipples
- Men with one nipple
- Women with flaws
- People of color
- People with no color
- People with many colors
- Horses
- Glue
- Full House fans
- James Gandolfini fans
- Zebras with black stripes
- Zebras with white stripes
- People who limp
- People who skip
- People who eat tootsie pops
- Men who need duct tape
- Men who don't
- Psychics
- Pychics
- Miss Hell and the extended Hell Family
- People who sniff
- People who smell
- People who stink
- People with missing earlobes
- Men who don't listen
- Two year old kids
- Capitalists
- And National Governments that fly black helicopters and listen to everything you say

MANFRED, PLEASE UPDATE DISCLAIMER. ASAP, PLEASE INCLUDE SOCCER PLAYERS. ALREADY HAD UGLY COMPLAINTS

THANK YOU.

- Women
- Men
- Men with nipples
- Men with one nipple
- Women with flaws
- People of color
- People with no color
- People with many colors
- Horses
- Glue
- Full House fans
- James Gandolfini fans
- Zebras with black stripes
- Zebras with white stripes
- People who limp
- People who skip
- People who eat tootsie pops
- Men who need duct tape
- Men who don't
- Psychics
- Pychics
- Miss Hell and the extended Hell Family
- People who sniff
- People who smell
- People who stink
- People with missing earlobes
- Men who don't listen
- Two year old kids
- Capitalists
- And National Governments that fly black helicopters and listen to everything you say
- Democrats
- Terrorists
- Soccer Players
- People who call "football" "soccer"
- Republicans
- Ask.com users
- YouTubers
- People who play Farmville
- Dog-Cat hybrids
- Cat-Fish hybrids
- People who side with Argentina in the Falklands War even though Britain won it 30 years ago
- Toyota drivers
- Kia drivers
- And kangaroos

I added a few . Also here is my question.
How many Ukrainian cars would you blow up for a Klondike bar?

10 mins ago Vladimir Putin replied: 10,Maybe 11.

My answer is 0 since I hate Klondike bars.

Whoa now...soccer players??? I'm not that demanding.... I would blow up 5 cars for a Klondike bar...

Where is Prof. Parrot?

Will you break the one game record ,363!

I have two questions.

1. Why am I a ghost?

2. Why is dogfight called dogfight instead of catfight,fishfight or birdfight?

Please answer these questions, for they have been bugging the hell outta me!

[*M]ONSTER CANNON wrote: Dear Davy...serious question here...why do they call it a pair of pants but only one bra?

OH CANNON, just think about it, how would it sound saying something like " I have to put on a PANT". Doesn't sound very good now does it. Now say "I need to put on a pair of pants". Sounds sweet huh.

Now say "I have to put on a pair a bras". Sounds dumb don't it.

It's all about the way it sounds. Think cannon think.

PAIR OF BRAS..?

4 gallons please, Miss



You

Paul Mantz, Jr. wrote: PAIR OF BRAS..?

4 gallons please, Miss



You

PAUL HOW ARE YOU MY FRIEND

Richyroo wrote:

Davy Crockett wrote:

Ronnie Biggs wrote: Dear Davy,
Now that you have a real Racoon Zebra tail, I wonder if you could help me with a problem I encountered last time I was big game hunting in Masai Mara. Is a zebra white with black stripes or black with white stripes? None of my 75 porters had a clue what I was talking about.

DAVY SAYS

THIS QUESTION IS RACIST IN NATURE. THIS QUESTION IS MEANT TO FURTHER DIVIDE THIS NATION ABOUT WHO COMES FIRST, THE WHITES OR THE BLACKS. EVEN THOUGH THE ANSWER IS WHITE I WILL NOT AND I MEAN WILL NOT GET INVOLVED IN THIS QUESTION.

^^^HOLY MOLEY^^^ I can't believe you just said that!

Flush says...Davy lies!!!!! zebras are black with white stripes!!!! just look at their tails, hooves, and manes...black...white stripes

[M] MISFIT CROCKETT wrote:

FOX#1 [BB] wrote: what does the Fox say,?

Davy says, I have to admit I really don't know what the FOX says, you see, when I usually shoot the fox he is a long distance away and by the time I plunge my knife into his FURRY NICE BODY he is usually to weak to scream. Sometimes I hear a small yelp though.

They sure make beautiful hats.

You seem to have kept gathering foxfur...but why aren't my shipments coming?...im gonna have to chase down this FOX1 for material....

[*M] GreyGhost wrote: I have two questions.

1. Why am I a ghost?

2. Why is dogfight called dogfight instead of catfight,fishfight or birdfight?

Please answer these questions, for they have been bugging the hell outta me!

DEAR GHOST.

You are not, I REPEAT, not a ghost.

If people ignore you its not because you are a ghost
If people don't talk to you it's not because you are a ghost
If people just walk by you it's not because you are a ghost
If people don't see you it's not because you are a ghost
If people don't want to be around you it's not because you are a ghost
If people don't seem to hear you it's not because you are a ghost
If you can clear out a room by entering it doesn't mean you are a ghost
The fact you make people scream doesn't mean you are a ghost
The fact that people cut you out of pictures doesn't mean you are a ghost

If I were you I would be looking into other causes, you know like maybe personality (not ghost)

WHO WAS I TALKING TO ANYWAY.


ps. still working on question 2

Does vegetarian's eat animal crackers, does hulk drink the water at the nuclear power plant!

DAVY! Why?