Screw IT YOUR ALL FIRED VON HULK HIRED

The Punditry Files... Re: the failed adoption of bhg

After many tens of minutes of intense philosophical reflection, an explanation of the failure of anyone to assume responsibility for the raising and care of the notorious bhg presents itself... that bird is a ghost.

Are ghosts not worthy of love, you ask?

Are ghosts not deserving of the warmth, attention, and guidance a family environment is normally taken to provide for those without?

To be honest, I'm not sure.

What I am sure of is that ghosts do not occupy the same plane of existence as humans... they are, for lack of a better word, incorporeal. So the question of whether they are deserving of love, warmth, attention, and guidance presupposes that such qualities are possible and/or applicable to beings that are, metaphysically, not of this world.

It follows that any chance the notorious bhg has of being adopted depends on equivalently ghostly entities being willing to assume this parental role. And that possibility further depends on it being appropriate to maintain that the ghostly realm is one in which the merits of the practice of adoption obtain in the same manner as they do on this earthly plane. Obviously, this is not the sort of question a mere mortal such as yours truly could possibly answer.

In sum: I don't know if the notorious bhg will be adopted, or should be adopted. What I can confidently maintain is that if the adoption occurs, it will have to be ghosts who do it.

These have been the musings of:
Uncertainty.

(postscript: given the dearth of ghostly players of dogfight, I find it unlikely that any member of the df community will be able to step forward to fulfill this role)

Seriously... four articles in and I'm fired? jeebus.

I definitely hope that you're not offended... I was merely trying to do my best as a cub reporter for this quality publication, given the assignment I received; you know, to show my enthusiasm for the job.

As to whether or not you should be happy... I definitely encourage happiness for all, in all circumstances, to the extent that such happiness is possible and/or appropriate. So sure... be happy.

Keep me on as your cub reporter and punditry expert, and I promise that each of my future submissions will be of a similarly high quality.

yes this is a mcfate type of thread big words Oh oh mate loves the big words

Uncertainty you got job back

Diabloque you have been demoted to Field reporter

Mcfate your my spell checker

Be careful here guys...
a lot of people around here have hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia.

This just in...

Uncertainty taken on full-time as new cub reporter/opinion analysticator for the official DOGFIGHT NEWS (hooray!)

Diabolique kept on, but wages halved owing to deep budget cuts.

McFate assigned to broadly defined, and voluntary, role as 'one-who-uses-da-big-words'

Tyrannical editor notorious bhg develops soft spot for staff (... and his heart grew three sizes that day).

Intrepid independent investigating contributor Zebra Up (whom none of us, except for him, is) currently lost in wilderness.

I am Uncertain, and you should be too. (trying out a new tag line )

Due to recent events, I have been force to come out of my retirement from journalism. I have returned to give you all the real story behind the re-hiring of the recently terminated reporters of this fine news outlet.

It all began with a few very unstable actions of the newly self-appointed editor-in-chief. One witness who prefers to remain anonymous had this to say.


That's when things took a turn for the worse. In preparation for the grand opening of the new wine tasting bar at the Jolly Roger, and the launch of the new locally made brand of mead.

The "BIG GREEN GUY" was given his first assignment, to do a story on Mr. Bartholomew L Schwartzenhoffer, the man behind the mead.

After arriving at the home of Mr. Schwartzenhoffer, our "mean green reporting machine" was informed that there were no beekeeping suits in his size. A statement taken from Mr. Schwartzenhoffer at the hospital, stated that the "Monstrous green humanoid" said that he "was very tough" and "not worried about a few little bees".

After being stung the HULKSTER began to lose control. He then began to "SMASH" anything and everything he could get his hands on. First he leveled the village that Mr. Schwartzenhoffer resided.

Then he moved on to the airfields to SMASH the hangars.

He even SMASHED the bridge.

Here is a photo that was recovered from our photographers camera.

Authorities finally caught up to the "man-beast" atop Mt. Duckwing, and were able to lure him into a cage with a piece of cake donated by M.O.M.

We have been told that the only way to calm the "Big Fella" is a foot rub. No volunteers have stepped up to the task yet.

We recovered the camera that our photographer was using but have not seen or heard from him since the unfortunate event. A search and rescue mission is currently under way.

Oh dear. Dont they make a cream for have a shot for that?

Do we have enough on the budget to make Jacob 1000 a reporter

Can we get a sausage therapist to hulk

Diablo i need you to go to the house of d93bigguns

Mcfate Book a limo JACOB AND I ARE GOING PLACES

What about the Weather Forecast? ☁️

Ok ripper your in charge of weather but pay is low for you

BLACK HAWK GHOST wrote: Ok ripper your in charge of weather but pay is low for you

Low pay..... Now there's a surprise!

In Dogfight Weather today we can expect temperatures to soar. The recent drought has caused disappearing tree syndrome.

Snow is expected at the summit of Duckwing.
For the rest of the Dogfight region there is widespread Darkness in the forecast for tonight followed by scattered light in the Morning.
Now back to the News Desk!

Thank you sky ripper
"'
"
We now go to the case of the missing d93big guns

dogfight sheriff TX lawman states "evidence leads right to Davy Crockett"

Davy Crockett was sentenced to Trial by Betsy The

Any further information dogfight news will share

We now go to Diablo with sports

In todays sports report,
Hulk tried out for the df football team, unfortunately when the other team scored he tore down the stadium 72 people, 4 ducks and a cricket were injured.
When asked for a comment Hulk said and I quote " Hulk Smash, Hulk Angry, Hulk Hungry!"

All are expected to make a full recovery.

This is Diaoblique on df sports WWWWWEEEEEEEEEEE!!

listen up staff

we have a budget of 75bucks

We need to make it work'

i went out and bought a real computer now we don't have to use mcfates kids computer made out of play doh
That cost 18 bucks from good will

i took the liberty in buying a microphone from dollar general for 2bucks
For skyrippers weather forecast i bought A REAL MAP now you don't have too draw the weather anymore that totaled 5bucks
we also have WIFi now so we don't have to keep hijacking the pizza huts WiFi

Now get to work you lousy croundrels i don't pay you for nothing

<<<<<< BREAKING NEWS >>>>>>>

DOGFIGHT NEWS staff contemplates job action in response to slave wages proposed by tyrannical editor-in-chief, aka the notorious bhg.

DATELINE - The Dogfight Universe, AUGUST 13th 2016

Chaos and confusion dominated the DOGFIGHT NEWS newsroom on Saturday, after the announcement from editor-in-chief, one notorious bhg, that the gross total annual budget for the proliferation of the publication was a paltry $75, $25 of which had already been spent.

One E.E.A. McFate, chief 'word-guy' for DOGFIGHT NEWS, was heard to remark: "En El Arghhh! Does he think the vocabulatastic requirements of pontificatory verbosity are localized to the monetary-producing qualities of local flora!??!"

Sports/field reporter Diabolique was outraged by the expenditure of nearly one quarter of this embarrassingly low budget on a non-play-doh computer: "The play-doh computer was perfect... crushed during the destructive tirade of Von Hulk at the football try-outs, it was easily reshaped afterwards and worked good as new. All that money that could have gone to staff, wasted on good will".

Having been cajoled to return to the newsroom from retirement, Jacob1000 was livid: "You know I saved some of Schwartzenhoffer's bee-hives from the destructive powers of Von Hulk... I wonder how management would take to offices full of bees?'

Weather reporter Skyripper was disappointed, but by no means shocked: "The terrible darkness of the Dogfight universe is simply now coming to light with this revelation."

Intrepid investigative and independent reporter Zebra-Up responded with a laugh: "I'm an independent journalist... screw you guys, I'm off to write for the Times." He then reminded all within earshot that he was Zebra, and we were not.

The responses of one Von Hulk and Uncertainty were both equally predictable; Hulk destroyed a number of buildings, hangars, and rock formations in the local area. Uncertainty panicked, circling the office at a manic pace, staring at his hands and muttering 'I'm just not sure' over and over again.

No formal announcements with respect to possible job action have been made, and no further official comment has been made by management.

Stay tuned for moment-by-moment developments.

As always... I'm Uncertain, and you should be too.

and now for df sports::

Due to budget cuts the boss took my pen so to recap there was sports news but I had nothing to write with. Someone won someone lost.

Weeeeeeeeeeeee

ok guys i fell in WalMart they gave me 2k to shut up


BREAKING NEWS

Are ww2 planes uneven
This was said by Lt dan angrily

[M]LtDan nhouse wrote: Sad there is not way same pilot can go 2 and 10 in brit palne and switch sides to german and go 20 and 2 everytime everytime everytime

*************ALERT*************ALERT**********ALERT**********ALERT***********
This has been a test of the Dogfight Emergency Broadcast System. A Weekly test has been required by unknown agencies. Had this been a real Emergency you would have received no instructions what so ever.

This concludes our test of the DEBS. We now return you to regularly scheduled programming

*********ALERT ***********ALERT*********ALERT**********ALERT**********

Reports of the alleged "Squadron Wars" have been circling around the dogfight hangars.
" Will it be in df1??"
" how will squadron wings get back together!!?!?"
" what's going to happen to my chilly cheese dogs in wing 3??"
These are questions many pilots are asking. Just like the pilot many fellow dogfighters are filled with "Uncertainty" while the Squadron Wars are still in progress.
Meanwhile, squadrons have started jumping up and down brimming with excitement to bring them to glory.
War Birds ,recently ranked at 34, has now moved up in the world to #30
Squadron founder and leader War hawk gave a response on the matter to a reporter from the Dogfight News.
" War Birds is now better than it ever was before. We had to get rid of many inactives but we are getting back on the train tracks!"
Also in recent news...nightorado's long lost friend Kiku has been circling around his hangar trying to figure out where he is.
If you have seen Nightorado call this number
1800-Party-at-Night's

My horse ate the chili cheese dog. War Birds is now defunct.

Sorry

If it makes you feel better, he's now very gassy and my eyes are watering.

We interrupt this programming to bring you a Special Weather Bulletin.
A Lag Warning has been issued for the entire Dogfight Area
We advise that you immediately go to a safe place. Remain away from Windows, Doorways and Wireless Routers until this Warning has passed.
Again, A Lag Warning has been issued for the entire Dogfight Area by the International Dogfight Weather Service.


We now rejoin regular programming already in progress.

Gj guys for helping bring he thread back NOW YOUR ALL FIRED

I'm not fired, I quit! Good day

Ok stopppppp Stay

Heres 108 for mcfate
Heres 108 for sky ripper
Heres 108 for Diablo
Heres 108 for uncertainty

NEXT week The pay will decrease'

"'psharpshooter can join our News staff He will Be The scapegoat for when we do something illegal

cheers n thanks for the smiles,had one the whole time I was reading

BREAKING NEWS

the Interpol' sky is wanted by Dogfight police
a warrant fr his arrest was made after he called superman and i quote" nasty red lady "
After he then proceeded to call superman "nasty lady boy

If you have the whereabouts of Interpol sky please post on mews thread and we will send to the police

BLACK HAWK GHOST wrote: Ok stopppppp Stay

Heres 108 for mcfate
Heres 108 for sky ripper
Heres 108 for Diablo
Heres 108 for uncertainty

NEXT week The pay will decrease'

"'psharpshooter can join our News staff He will Be The scapegoat for when we do something illegal

Check it before you wreck it! I thought you only had a 15 dollar budget????