Well, Deliwolf, I applaud the effort in making your first music rap video! Your girlfriend should be delighted that you care so much, for sure. My professional comments are that your lyrics are important, so anything you can do to make it easier for the listener to understand you would be a good idea. For example, you could equalize to eliminate/cut down bass frequencies in your voice I noticed to give clarity (I have the same problem, by the way). Secondly, and this is the more difficult task, get a band to record your music so that it will sound truer. The recording of another bands music sounded very scratchy. Not your fault, but it is an issue. All that said, I wish you well on your musical journey, my friend!