[NLR] The Blue Fighter wrote: .

---

Diarrhea – Journal Of Daily Events. many of the conversations in WC

On a nice spring morning, two guys went fishing in a little boat on a lake.
When they found a nice and quiet spot they got everything ready and waited for the fish to bite.
Suddenly a speedboat came out of nowhere, passing them so close that the waves nearly knocked them overboard.
"He did that intentionally, the son of a b!tch!!!!"
But they quieted down, got everything ready again, and sat there.........waiting for the fish to bite.
And again, out of nowhere the same guy in that speedboat passed them, just missing them.
"That can't be an accident! Next time I'll hit him with my oar!"
And so they waited for the speedboat to return.
Here he came....and: BAM! The fisherman hit the guy right in the face, knocking him overboard.

"Wow!.....you hit him hard, dude!......where is he?", his mate said.
"You better dive after him......you don't want him to drown, do you?"
So he jumped in, and after a number of tries, he finally came up and pushed the body into the boat.
"Mouth to mouth!!!! C"mon......save him!" His mate shouted.
"Ugh, he's well ugly!" But after argueing for a bit he pulled himself together and did mouth to mouth.

"Ah,.......you can stop mate", his friend said.

"This one is still wearing his skates."

That one took me a couple of minutes Rudolf
There will be a few that live in in the tropics wont get it.

In Holland speed-skating is a national sport, done on lakes, canals and whatever water is frozen.

No gators or any other big critters here.......

Sorry for the commotion I caused.

His turn will come next year or later lol.

I often ask is Google a man or a woman
Mysimple answer is
Its a woman because it wont let youfinish a sentence without making a suggestion

BLACKHAWKGHOST wrote: I often ask is Google a man or a woman
Mysimple answer is
Its a woman because it wont let youfinish a sentence without making a suggestion

Good one BHG

.......I give up. I can't tell jokes, I don't have it to make moraf any time soon, my reindeer peers won't play this game with me,.........

Zup, can I get my invisibility back?!!

A Police Officer tries to pull a guy over for speeding.
The guy continues to increase his speed until he is well over 100 MPH.
The cop continues to chase until the man finally pulls over.
He walks to the car and says,
"It's been a long day, I'm tired, if you give me a good excuse for your speed I'll let you go."
Guy thinks for a couple seconds and says,
" Last week my Wife ran off with a Cop. I thought it might be you trying to give her back."
"Have a nice day!"

(Clean jokes are hard!)

A Cool Message From Wife.
Dear Mother-In-Law,
Don’t Teach Me How To Handle My Children.
I Am Living With One Of Yours And He Really Needs A Lot Of Improvement.

---

Two Rules Of A Man’s Life:
1. They Never Flirt With Any Unknown Lady.
2. They Never Consider Any Lady Unknown.
Two Rules Of A Women’s Life:
1. They Flirt By Showing They Are Serious About You.
2. They Never Consider Anyone Seriously.


----

Guy walks into a bar with a pair of Jumper Cables on his shoulder.
Bartender says, " You can stay as long as you don't try to start anything."

What's the number to 911

Dogfight

.

a blonde sits down at your desk , she sees a piece of paper on the desk and picks it up, reading the paper saying "How do you keep a blonde busy " please flip ! she flips it reading the same thing over and over , she looks up at you saying " I dont get it !! lol hehehe

.

---

Satan...666 says hi. and started shooting planes down. Moment later, i spawn in and join in the fight. I said, 'Hi to satan and replied, "Hi". Then Satan.. 666..said, "I want to relief myself and brb. I said, hey satan, dont you read the bible.. it wrote, " Damnation without relief".

For those who already read this story, sorry for being repetitive. But, heck, is a good one... So, here it goes - again (this time, on a more appropriate thread):

At work, some time ago I went to the toilet. There are several cubicles, side by side.
At the time I entered the toilet, there was no one else in the room. So I was sitting there, dropping some, when I heard the main door opening and closing, and some footsteps indicating a guy entered the room.

By the noise, I noticed he entered the cubicle next to the one I was. Of course, since his arival, I tried to make no sound...

Some seconds of complete silence followed.

Then, he said:
- Hey...

I thought "what the hell...", but to be polite, I answered:
- Hello...

He asked:
- Are you busy now?

I said, with an embarassed tone:
- Well, man, what do you think? Of course I am freaking busy!!!!!!

Some seconds later, he asked:
- May I meet you right now?

I almost jumped out from my sit, and shouted, showing my indignation:
- Hey, man, who do you think I am? Get the f out!!!!!

Then, keeping his sooth voice tone, the man said:
- Sorry, honey, I have to hang up, I call you later. There is a crazy idiot next to me thinking I'm talking to him.

Joke 1: I like history lessons but I can't see a future in it.
Joke 2: a taxi stopped with a jerk, the jerk got out and I got in.

Nice one Pedrino. The best one so far. Five Stars for that.

.

Wife: Can u help me in the gardening?
Husband: What do u think I am...a gardener?
Wife: Can u fix the door handle?
Husband: What do you think I am... a Carpenter?
Next day, when husband came from work, he saw everything has been fixed.
Husband: Who did all this ?
Wife: Our neighbour.
But he gave me two options.....Either I should give him a burger or a kiss.
Husband: I am sure u must have given him a burger. Wife: What do u think I am.......McDonalds

The funeral director for the guy who wrote the Hokey Pokey had a heck of a time. When he put the body into the casket, he put the right leg in, and you can imagine the rest...

Why was the hipster bad at karate? He could never get past the white belt.


I went to the zoo, but there was only one animal on display. It was a shih-Tzu.