×

Warning

Empty password not allowed.
Welcome, Guest
Username: Password: Remember me
Welcome to the Dogfight forum!

Tell us and other pilots who you are, what you like and why you became a Dogfight pilot.
We welcome all new members and hope to see you around a lot!
  • Page:
  • 1
  • 2

TOPIC:

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270454

  • [NLR] The Blue Fighter
  • [NLR] The Blue Fighter's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Nothing is Impossible.
  • Posts: 4655
  • Thank you received: 9789
Hi everyone,

Due to invisibility of players in the game most of us are not playing till update is out. Till then why not make everybody laugh by posting the best jokes here.

In fact, I feel there should be a daily addition to this thread as I know many members have great sense of humour to bring laughter around.

Let's see who post the first one and make the world laugh.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Acegirl, Gannet

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Last edit: by [NLR] The Blue Fighter.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270457

  • Gannet
  • Gannet's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Posts: 2025
  • Thank you received: 4460
.
.
.
.
.
.

..

.
.
.
.
.
.
..
The following user(s) said Thank You: [*M]VonHuLK, Rudolf Rednose, [NLR] The Blue Fighter, Acegirl, SavageViking, Chopper 15

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270459

  • [NLR] The Blue Fighter
  • [NLR] The Blue Fighter's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Nothing is Impossible.
  • Posts: 4655
  • Thank you received: 9789
Lol is this a kind of invisibility joke.please fix it sir Gannet.
The following user(s) said Thank You: [*M]VonHuLK, Acegirl

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270460

  • R E Z
  • R  E   Z's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Posts: 389
  • Thank you received: 771

Gannet wrote: .
.
.
.
.
.

..

.
.
.
.

.
.
..

Haha! Good one Gannet!
The following user(s) said Thank You: [NLR] The Blue Fighter, Acegirl

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270462

  • [NLR] The Blue Fighter
  • [NLR] The Blue Fighter's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Nothing is Impossible.
  • Posts: 4655
  • Thank you received: 9789
Oh my God, I just found the reason why people get muted or goes invisible.

Don't press the mute button of your TV set while playing game as the game and TV keys get synchronized. Press the mute button again and your chat works again.

For invisibility, Don't leave in front of PC, Ipad or phone screen while you are playing to attend something else as the device got sensor to detect that you are unavailable and make you invisible from the game. So take your device where ever you go, I really mean where ever you go.

Just try this and let me know your feedback.
The following user(s) said Thank You: [NLR] McFate, Acegirl

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Last edit: by [NLR] The Blue Fighter.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270463

  • [NLR] The Blue Fighter
  • [NLR] The Blue Fighter's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Nothing is Impossible.
  • Posts: 4655
  • Thank you received: 9789
Haha Sir Gannet what a great one not many people have the sense of humour to read it so it's becoming invisible to them I think. I too fall in the same category.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Acegirl

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Last edit: by [NLR] The Blue Fighter.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270470

  • Gannet
  • Gannet's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Posts: 2025
  • Thank you received: 4460
It has become obvious lately that not everyone can see the humour in some posts.

This is caused by the recent outbreak of invisibility in the game being transferred to the forum by contaminated players.
We are now getting invisible posts.

Invisible posting is serious disease, we need to ban it now.
It can strike randomly at any
.
.
.
.
.
..

.
.
.
.
.
.................
so any forum members who have been warned they have been infected should not use this as an opportunity to make offensive posts, but immediately cease posting until a fix is found.
The following user(s) said Thank You: [NLR] McFate, [NLR] The Blue Fighter, Acegirl, R E Z, Chopper 15

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Last edit: by Gannet.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270472

  • uberculture
  • uberculture's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
  • Posts: 81
  • Thank you received: 134

What's the difference between a look of concern and a German woman digging a ditch?

One is a furrowing brow, and the other is a burrowing frau.
The following user(s) said Thank You: [NLR] The Blue Fighter, R E Z

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270478

  • {GI} E*A*G*L*E
  • {GI} E*A*G*L*E's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Long live GI
  • Posts: 1602
  • Thank you received: 3213
Attachments:
The following user(s) said Thank You: [NLR] The Blue Fighter, R E Z

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270485

  • Stormbringer
  • Stormbringer's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • You may win the battle but not the war
  • Posts: 392
  • Thank you received: 578

We all agree Zuperman, we want you to ban him.
His name is invisible so you shouldn't have any trouble identifying him. :P
The following user(s) said Thank You: [NLR] The Blue Fighter

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270486

  • Stormbringer
  • Stormbringer's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • You may win the battle but not the war
  • Posts: 392
  • Thank you received: 578

this comment was made by gannet recently
The following user(s) said Thank You: [NLR] The Blue Fighter

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270488

  • Stormbringer
  • Stormbringer's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • You may win the battle but not the war
  • Posts: 392
  • Thank you received: 578

Wow Mean, you are not letting anybody take your position.

Excellent.

Keep it up.

Can anybody challenge mean? :evil:

I don't think so ;)

Now you know why im called "MEAN"

recent comment made by blue
The following user(s) said Thank You: [NLR] The Blue Fighter

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270492

  • Gannet
  • Gannet's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Posts: 2025
  • Thank you received: 4460
In the last game I played, Von Hulk started by saying
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
...........
and the game ended because we all laughed that much we fell out of our planes.
The following user(s) said Thank You: [*M]VonHuLK, [NLR] The Blue Fighter, R E Z, Chopper 15

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Last edit: by Gannet.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270495

  • [NLR] The Blue Fighter
  • [NLR] The Blue Fighter's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Nothing is Impossible.
  • Posts: 4655
  • Thank you received: 9789

Gannet wrote: In the last game I played, Von Hulk started by saying
.
.
.
.
...........
and the game ended because we all laughed that much we fell out of our planes.


LOL, LOL hahahahahahahahah

That is the best one.
The following user(s) said Thank You: [*M]VonHuLK

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270517

  • [*M]Comet
  • [*M]Comet's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Take off eh!
  • Posts: 2570
  • Thank you received: 11899
Sorry, I forgot there are younger people and put a stupid one on here...my bad. Man I wish I was invisible right now :blink: :blush:
Bannerless and naked. Whatever...
The following user(s) said Thank You: Stormbringer, [*M]VonHuLK, [NLR] The Blue Fighter, R E Z

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Last edit: by [*M]Comet.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270549

  • [NLR] The Blue Fighter
  • [NLR] The Blue Fighter's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Nothing is Impossible.
  • Posts: 4655
  • Thank you received: 9789
Ok another one, hope this time it is visible to all. let me know if it is still invisible, I'll boot the system.

Two hunters are out in the woods




"OK, now what?"
The following user(s) said Thank You: [*M]VonHuLK, R E Z

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270554

  • Gannet
  • Gannet's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Posts: 2025
  • Thank you received: 4460
Your definitely visible Comet, but I can't see your bad post. Maybe its good that it's invisible.
The following user(s) said Thank You: [NLR] The Blue Fighter, [*M]Comet

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270700

  • [*M]VonHuLK
  • [*M]VonHuLK's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • BOOM Game Over...
  • Posts: 7274
  • Thank you received: 21656
I'm wondering if McFate has been hit by this invisability, I have not seen him in sometime. He might be lurking in the shadows.

ALL IN 100%
The following user(s) said Thank You: [NLR] McFate, [NLR] The Blue Fighter

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270769

  • [NLR] McFate
  • [NLR] McFate's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Don't believe everything you think.
  • Posts: 2743
  • Thank you received: 5398
Sometimes a good laugh is more valuable than currency:

A friend was caught and pulled over by the highway patrol while going over 90 mph (145 kmph). The furious officer came to his window and bellowed "What you were doing wasn't driving, it was low altitude flying!" and demanded the driver's license. The driver handed over his document as the cop continued to berate him. The officer walked back to his car, license in hand and began writing the citation. When he looked at the document he stopped cold, then cracked a grin, then burst out in full laughter. He returned to the open car window, thanked the driver and handed him back his pilot's license and sent him on his way with only a stern warning.


(Yep, Von. Still lurking.)
The following user(s) said Thank You: [*M]VonHuLK, [NLR] The Blue Fighter, {GI} E*A*G*L*E

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Last edit: by [NLR] McFate.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270799

  • [NLR] The Blue Fighter
  • [NLR] The Blue Fighter's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Nothing is Impossible.
  • Posts: 4655
  • Thank you received: 9789

[NLR] McFate wrote: Sometimes a good laugh is more valuable than currency:

Warning: Spoiler!
)


Excellent McFate. This suits DF pilots. Davy is already traveling and is having flying license. LOL. May be this joke will become reality.
The following user(s) said Thank You: [NLR] McFate, [*M]VonHuLK

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270880

  • [NLR] McFate
  • [NLR] McFate's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Don't believe everything you think.
  • Posts: 2743
  • Thank you received: 5398

[NLR] The Blue Fighter wrote:

[NLR] McFate wrote: Sometimes a good laugh is more valuable than currency:

Warning: Spoiler!
)


Excellent McFate. This suits DF pilots. Davy is already traveling and is having flying license. LOL. May be this joke will become reality.


Lol. It happened about 15 years ago on Highway 101 near the California/Oregon border according to a friend's story. (I've always wondered if the pilot's license was similar enough to a driver's license that the officer would not have immediately noticed. Otherwise I have no reason to doubt the authenticity.) ;)
The following user(s) said Thank You: [NLR] The Blue Fighter

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270886

  • [NLR] McFate
  • [NLR] McFate's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Don't believe everything you think.
  • Posts: 2743
  • Thank you received: 5398
Another true story of the value of laughter.

Years ago; before I met Mrs McFate, she had a job while in college working at homes for people with developmental disabilities. Some were autistic, others had Downs syndrome or had brain injuries. All were regarded as "high functioning" and just needed some help to get through their day; making sure they ate and kept up with their personal hygiene. The employees were also responsible for driving the "clients" to their various appointments by shuttling them in the house's 15 passenger van.

The job was mostly easy but there were times of high stress and the pay was very low. One of the supervisors was having a terrible week and had decided that she was going to quit as soon as she was done driving the appointment van for the day. My wife was riding in back with the clients as they dropped them off at various destinations. Mrs McFate dressed as a hippie/gypsy most of the time and would wear second hand clothes at work. She had recently broken her usual pair of eyeglasses and was wearing an old pair which were no longer her current prescription.

As they dropped off the last clients at a place where they had facilitated jobs, Mrs Mc was moving from the back of the van with the clients to the front passenger seat. As she tried to get out if the van one of the job facilitators held her back by the shoulders and said " no dear, this isn't your stop". The coworker who was going to quit absolutely lost it, laughing to the point of tears. She thanked Mrs Mc for bringing joy back to her job and went on to become a manager and worked there for several more years.
:lol:
The following user(s) said Thank You: [LB] Pedrinho, ZebraUp, [NLR] The Blue Fighter, Gannet

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Last edit: by [NLR] McFate.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270889

  • [NLR] The Blue Fighter
  • [NLR] The Blue Fighter's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Nothing is Impossible.
  • Posts: 4655
  • Thank you received: 9789
Great one and salute to Mrs McFate for having so much patience to deal and help those people. May God bless her and pay back her and family with abundance of happiness and joy.
The following user(s) said Thank You: [NLR] McFate

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Last edit: by [NLR] The Blue Fighter.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270891

  • Ðélíríøú§
  • Ðélíríøú§'s Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Hunting you down till your delirious
  • Posts: 603
  • Thank you received: 1045
Well this is a no brainer of a joke

I was flying in a game with my brother wolf husky when he decided to say "dose this plane make my butt look big" I'm flying with tears in my eyes from laughing and reply "nope just extremely fluffy" next minute I'm crashing into the ground and flipped over and over where was the soft landing then oh wait fluffy took them away and that's what I get for begin nice to husky he's pure :evil: :woohoo: Always a laugh in the skies with so many of the decent folk of the DF community
The most Delirious Hunter Around

New Age Warriors Founder
The following user(s) said Thank You: Rudolf Rednose, ZebraUp, Gannet, Husky Dog

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270895

  • LiLBaDGaL
  • LiLBaDGaL's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Posts: 918
  • Thank you received: 2403
on not a dirty one yet hehehe ! a women buys a new sexy ligerie to surprise her husband on their anniversary, she lays on the bed with rose petals spread everywhere ,, her husband walks into the bedroom and she asks him so what do you think honey ! ? he replies you could of at least taken out the wrinkles first!! lol see a clean joke this time ;)

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270896

  • Ðélíríøú§
  • Ðélíríøú§'s Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Hunting you down till your delirious
  • Posts: 603
  • Thank you received: 1045
Lol lil and I have another one

What's the only animal that can be done for j walking on the road

A zebra on a zebra crossing cause on minute you see them next you don't
The most Delirious Hunter Around

New Age Warriors Founder
The following user(s) said Thank You: ZebraUp

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270901

  • [NLR] The Blue Fighter
  • [NLR] The Blue Fighter's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Nothing is Impossible.
  • Posts: 4655
  • Thank you received: 9789
.
Zuperman has come up with a fix for the invisible post problem.

Those people who can't see the jokes need to get

Humour-cum-LOL Update 4.4.lol from their usual store.


As usual it will take apple users a lot longer to get it."
The following user(s) said Thank You: [NLR] McFate, [*M]VonHuLK

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270902

  • [NLR] The Blue Fighter
  • [NLR] The Blue Fighter's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Nothing is Impossible.
  • Posts: 4655
  • Thank you received: 9789
I got it update and happy to inform all invisible posts are visible now.
It works for my post:


Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services.
He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies, "Take it easy.
I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone,
hunter says, "OK, now what?"
The following user(s) said Thank You: [NLR] McFate, ZebraUp, [*M]Skyripper, BLACKHAWKGHOST

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #270915

  • LiLBaDGaL
  • LiLBaDGaL's Avatar
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Posts: 918
  • Thank you received: 2403
omg~!! too damn funny :)
The following user(s) said Thank You: [NLR] The Blue Fighter

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Best Joke of the year 10 years 4 months ago #271534

  • [NLR] The Blue Fighter
  • [NLR] The Blue Fighter's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Nothing is Impossible.
  • Posts: 4655
  • Thank you received: 9789
.


Santa Wrote Bill Gates About PC & Windows Problems.

1 My Child Learned MS Word Now He Wants MS Sentence.

2 There Is Only Re-Cycle But No Re-Scooter, I Need It, As I Owe A Vespa Scooter.

3 I See MS Office But I Need MS Home, As I Use PC At Home.

4 Finally, I am Confused That Your Name Is Gates But You Are Selling Windows, Why?




Santa And Preeto Are Not Satisfied With Their Marriage Life, So They Decided To Divorce.

Judge Ask Too Many Question To Santa But At Last

Judge: “Santa, You Have 3 Kids, How Will You Divide Them?”

Santa After Having A Long Discussion With His Wife: “Sir, This Is Complicated, We Will Come Next Year With One More.“




Santa Writing His Medical Entrance Exam Gives Definitions As Follows:

Antibody – Against Everybody

Artery – Study Of Fine Arts.

Bacteria – Back Door To Cafeteria.

Cardiology – Advanced Study Of Playing Cards.

Cat Scan – Searching Lost Cat.

Coma – Punctuation Mark.

Diarrhea – Journal Of Daily Events.

Genes – Blue Denims.

Hymen – Greeting To Several Males.

Labour Pain – Hurt At Work.

Liposuction – French Kiss.

Microbes – Small Dressing Gowns.

Morbid – A Higher Offer.

Nitrate – Lower Than The Day Rate.

Urine – Opposite Of You’re Out.
The following user(s) said Thank You: [*M]Skyripper, [NLR] R@HUL

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Last edit: by [NLR] The Blue Fighter.
  • Page:
  • 1
  • 2
Time to create page: 0.777 seconds