Some further observations now I've been back a bit longer...
I think a lot of the problems come down to the very uneven team splits we tend to get. I was playing a bomb the base game this evening when I was the sole blue. I was late into the game and I got monstered. I could barely get off the deck. I shut up and tried to get on with it, and a very kind red swapped teams. Good on that man. I still lost but it was a bit less like punishment for its own sake.
The next game, bomb the carrier, I happened to be on the stronger side. It wasn't that much stronger, maybe 4-2 most of the time (these things have an ebb and flow as people leave and join) and the 'weaker' side comprised a MORAF and another fairly senior player, while the 'stronger' side had more but slightly less senior players. We were having a tough time getting past their defence and while they actually managed to score the first hit on our carrier, we had them pressed back to defending theirs after a while. I was getting shot to bits by two skilled players who had dropped their bombs so had the benefit of greater speed and agility. So I went high. One of them was waiting for me, but I managed to hit the carrier anyway. A bit later I tried again and hit once more, and later still someone else had a go. One of the reds started branding us 'chickenshit'. I complimented them on their fine defence that meant we had to explore alternative tactics, but maintained that it was legit.
A bit later, a couple of blues left and a whole heap of reds joined. Now we were up against it. The red who had complained now sat above our carrier, having dumped his bomb early, and gleefully shot us up as we took off. Now I gather this is no longer called 'camping' but 'cover'. They made short work of us, and said Red made a few gloating comments before the matter was settled.
Now this long and rambling tale has a moral. It was the complaining, then retaliating in kind, then gloating that was so ugly, more than anyone's individual tactics. I mean, if you're going to complain, at least try and retain the moral high ground! Otherwise you're both a whiner AND a hypocrite. I get how frustrating it is to be hard pressed and have the numbers against you, and I get how easy it is to let off a bit of steam in the comments, but in a game like Dogfight, the tables can turn in an instant.
A bit of grace wouldn't go amiss. I'll try to remember that in the air.
A word for planetrider - a fearsome opponent who is also a through gentleman. Oh for more like him