once there was a nervous passenger on a plane. all of a sudden 1 engine stops working. the passenger asks " how long can the plane fly with 1 engine? " it will takes us all the way to the crash site. the pilot comes on speaker "ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking, I have a good newsyou all get to be on tv tonight". passenger" if only I avoided the airline". flight attendants tell the passengers look below them to see the ocean, we hope you know how to swim
(I hope you like safe flight to all of you )

LOL! Keep your sanity in check.
This happens when you listen to bollywood song. LMAO


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Two guys are walking through the woods during hunting season. One trips and falls and his gun goes off shooting his friend who immediately collapses on the ground.
The first guy grabs his cell phone and calls 911.
"911, what is your emergency?"
"YOU GOT TO HELP ME! MY BUDDY IS SHOT, I THINK HE'S DEAD!"
"Calm down Sir, first lets make sure Ok?"
"Ok, hang on."
Operator hears the guy lay his phone down and then ...POW! A single gunshot.
"Ok," the guy says, "now what?"

A Tata Nano breaks down on a roadside.

A man in a BMW 750Li... stops to help the Nano driver.
"I will tow you to the next service station, but if I drive too fast please flash your head-lights"

They start up slowly but only a km or so down the line a sporty Porsche car speeds past at 150km/hr....

The BMW drivers ego is hurt, he totally forgets about the little Nano towed behind & races after the Porsche...

Just as all 3 of them fly & tear through a speed trap, the traffic cop radios his HeadQuarters:

"Calling all stations :: You won't believe this, I just saw a BMW & a Porsche racing past at about 195km/hr, with a Tata-Nano right behind & madly flashing its lights to Overtake them..

There was two guys fishing by the river, when the first guy said, "oh o", nature is calling and I have no toilet paper. "
The second guy said", "just use a dollar,it's not worth much anyway."
So the first guy heads for the bushes. Awhile later he comes walking back very strangely.
The second guy said, "well, did it work"? The first guy said, "I didn't have a dollar bill,
So I had to use two quarters, four dimes, one nickel, and five pennys!

You know your fat if your treadmill has a speed for loitering! !

[*M] TR wrote: Two guys are walking through the woods during hunting season. One trips and falls and his gun goes off shooting his friend who immediately collapses on the ground.
The first guy grabs his cell phone and calls 911.
"911, what is your emergency?"
"YOU GOT TO HELP ME! MY BUDDY IS SHOT, I THINK HE'S DEAD!"
"Calm down Sir, first lets make sure Ok?"
"Ok, hang on."
Operator hears the guy lay his phone down and then ...POW! A single gunshot.
"Ok," the guy says, "now what?"

Is this about Dick Chaney?

...

MAN comes home and sees that his blonde wife has painted nearly all the house...wow darling that is fantastic but why r u wearing a parka and a raincoat...Duh she sais read the tin it sais for best results put on 2 coats!..

ok ok ok... So what did the nut say to the other nut?



NOTHING HAHAHHAAAA

Marriage is like playing cards at the start all you need is a pair of hearts and a diamond...

...at the end all you wish for is a club and a spade.

haha

This thread has been quite inactive so im bringing to life
:A boy did not do his homework one day.
:the teacher asked him where's your homework
:he replie's with a very stupid excuse -I left it in my toilet

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Man driving down the road sees a family playing in their yard with a 3 legged pig.
he thinks that different so he stops and asks them about their pig.
Dad says that is a hero pig! Last week the barn caught fire and he woke everybody in time to save the barn.
So is that how he lost his leg? The man asks.
Naw says dad, the other night a tornado was coming and he woke everybody up in time to get to the cellar safe.
Well is that how he lost his leg?
Nope says dad, A good hero pig like that you dont want to eat all at once!