So guys, I have highlights clips of what I firmly believe is the funniest show ever.

However, it is HIGHLY offensive, due almost completely to language.

It is not visually graphic in any way, but the dialog is very, very inappropriate.

Should I post it?

gunnerzz wrote: This guy is walking along a dirt road when he stubbles upon an redneck lying on the ground with his ear in the dirt.


"Are you alright? What are you doing?" the man asks but gets no answer at all.

The redneck doesn't even acknowledge that he is there.

So after a while of silence the man asks again, "Can I help you sir?"

The redneck replies this time. "Ford pick-up truck, blue, 18 inch rims, two passengers, female driver."

"Wow! You can tell all that by listening to the ground!" the man says.

"NO" The redneck replies with a shocked look on his face "The bitch ran over me 10 minutes ago!"

that is so funny dude u made me luagh so hard there was a anarchy in my own house

One day, a 7 year old boy went to visit his grandmother. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said: "Grandma, why don't you have a boyfriend now that grandpa went to heaven?"
Grandma replied: "Honey, my TV-set is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs makes me feel good and the comedies makes me laugh. I'm happy with my it as my boyfriend."
Grandma turned on the TV-set, and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting knobs, trying to get it focus.
Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.
The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door, and there stood his grandpa's old friend, now the grandma's minister.
The minister said: "Hello, son, is your Grandma home?"
The little boy replied: "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend!"

Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists? A: The rest are hunt'n peckers. Q: Why do blondes make bad bankrobbers? A: Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards Q: What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny blonde? A: One's a phony buck. Q: Whats better than roses on a naked blonde? A: Her Tulips ( two lips ) on your organ! Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet. Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? A: Bigfoot has been sighted. Q: What can save a dying blonde? A: Hair transplants.. Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common? A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets! Q: How is a blonde like peanut-butter? A: They spread for the bread. Q: Why do blondes get confused in the ladies room? A: They have to pull their own pants down. Q: Why did the blonde get blown up into pieces A: Because she bought a Palestinian Blow Up Doll from the Sex Shop Q: Why do blondes wear panties? A: To keep their ankles warm. Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up! Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? A: Trying to hold on to a thought. Q: How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day? A: Give her a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat." Q: How can you tell a blonde has used your computer? A: There is white out on the screen.

Do not be racist , be like Mario. He's an italian plumber, made by Japanese people, who speaks english, looks like a mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a jew!

An old timer was sitting in his rocking chair on his front portch when a kid comes walking by with something in his hands.

The old timer asks the kid, "Hey son. Whatcha got there?"

The kid replies, "I got me some chicken wire. I'm gonna catch me some chickens."

The old timer responds, "Oh son, you can't catch no chickens with chicken wire."

A short time later the old timer sees the kid come back with a bunch of flapping chickens all caught up in the chicken wire.

"Well, I'll be...'" says the old timer scratching his head.

The next day the kid comes walking past the old timer. This time he has something round and gray in his hands.

The old timer shouts out to the kid, "Hey kid, whatcha got in your hands this time?"

The kid responds, "I got me some duct tape. I'm gonna catch me some ducks."

The old timer laughs, "Son, you can't catch no ducks using duct tape."

A short time later the kid comes back with a bunch of ducks caught-up and quacking in the duct tape."

The old man cannot believe his eyes.

The next day the kid comes walking past the old timer, again with something in hs hands.

The old timer shouts out to the kid, "Hey kid, whatcha got in your hands today?"

The kid shouts back to the old timer, "I got me some pussy willow."

The old timer shouts out, "Hold on son...while I get my hat!" 

As a guy walks into a piano bar he notices a cat laying on the piano. The guy asks the piano player, “Hey do you know there is a cat on your piano?” The piano player responds, “Well if ya hum a few bars it may come to me.”

One day, there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it. The other boy couldn't figure out why his friend was at the bush for so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the stream. All of a sudden, the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away, so he took off after his friend. Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend, "My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady, I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran."

gunnerzz wrote:

Rudolf Rednose wrote: Is religious humor allowed?..........making fun of religions, that is.

I would hope that its ok Rudolf this thread is for humor if one takes offense to a joke just please move on ...this thread is fun and no one should get upset over a joke I hope!!

Since brevity is the soul of wit:

A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, "Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these." The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped. I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's something your mommy probably calls your daddy all the time." Instantly, Little Johnny coughed his onto the floor and shouted, "Quick! Spit'em out! They're assholes!"

A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer : Ma'am, you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer : Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer : Don't have one? Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Officer : I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Older Woman: I can't do that. Officer : Why not? Older Woman: I stole this car. Officer : Stole it? Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer : You what? Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Older woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer2: Is this your car, ma'am? Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned. Officer2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer2 : Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

steven hawking..

The lone ranger and tonto rode into town on a hot day and decided to hit the saloon to cut the traildust. While inside a man comes in and asks "who owns this white horse outside?"
Lone ranger says he does and whats the matter?
" well your horse is getting too hot in the sun out there" the man tells him.
So they go outside and sure enough Silver is really hot, so they get him some water to help cool him down. Finally the lone ranger tells tonto to run in circles around silver real fast to make a breeze and help keep him cool.
With nothing to do the lone ranger goes back inside to finish his drink.
Another man comes in and asks," who owns this big white horse out here?"
Again the lone ranger answers and asks , "whats the problem this time?"
" nothing much, just wanted to tell you that you left your injun running!"

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.

St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out."

The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven. After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.

"Yes," he informs the couple. "You can get married in Heaven!"

"Great! But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.

"OH, COME ON!", St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"

horriblebreast wrote:

As we fly above doing battle and the infantry tries to relax...the children play. (look in background)

Times and children haven't changed.


A horse goes into a bar.
Bartender says, "Why the long face? You're hung like a horse."

Some I almost cried laughing at this the first time I read it...Keep in mind its a JOKE...

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.

When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.

His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''

''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.

''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.

''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!''

A little girl is learning to count and she thought she knew ut all but she could have only counted up to 70 so she goes to her dad and says daddy look I can count to 70 so she starts counting 1 2 3 4....etc ...65 66 67 68 69 then she stops and says aww man....Well I forgot what comes after 69 then she says Daddy what comes after 69? Her dad Replies MOUTHWASH!!

To all DBZ fans...

Q: Why doesn't Mexico have a competitive Olympic team? A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S. 

There once was a farmer who was raising 3 daughters on his own. He was very concerned about their well being and always did his best to watch out for them. As they entered their late teens the girls dated, and on this particular evening all three of his girls were going out on a date. This was the first time this had occurred. As was his custom, he would greet the young suitor at the door holding his shotgun, not to menace or threaten but merely to ensure that the young man knew who was boss.

The doorbell rang and the first of the boys arrived. Father answered the door and the lad said, "Hi, my name's Joe, I'm here for Flo. We're going to the show, is she ready to go?" The father looked him over and sent the kids on their way.

The next lad arrived and said, "My name's Eddie, I'm here for Betty, we're gonna get some spaghetti, is she ready?" Father felt this one was okay too, so off the two kids went.

The final young man arrived and the farmer opened the door. The boy started off, "Hi, my name's Chuck… --" and the farmer shot him.

The old couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting at this same breakfast table together.' 'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird, too .' 'Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old times.' Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat back down at the table. 'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.' 'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal

Two guys are at a bar on the roof of a hotel. One guy says to the other guy, "I'll bet you a beer that I can jump off this building, let this wind take me all the way around this building, and I'll land back up here." The other guy says, "You're on." The first guy jumps and, sure enough, he goes around the building and lands back on the roof. "You owe me a beer," he says. He goes on to perform the trick several more times, collecting free beers, until the second guy decides he's going to try it too. He stands on the edge, looking forward to a free beer from the first man, and jumps off, dying when he slams into the pavement below. The bartender says to the first man, "You sure are an asshole when you're drunk, Superman.

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship.

One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew  became worried, but the Captain was calm.

He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"

The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated.

Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain,  calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! 

The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred.

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an  ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?"

The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command.

The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my brown pants!!!' 

I will preface this post with a brief explanation.

I am not a fan, typically, of excessively raunchy or inappropriate humor. However, if the comedian is spectacularly good, I will acknowledge a level of skill required to actually be funny.

At a point in my life when I was near-suicidal, this show, titled "Respawn Inbox" was one of the things that kept me alive.

Mr. Sark is, I believe, still the funniest man alive. His sidekick in these videos, APL Fisher, is obviously not so much, but Sark more than mmakes up the difference.

Warning: This is not for the faint of stomach. Strong language and explicit themes are the norm.
But enjoy, nonetheless.

Q:What did the blonde say when the plane began to shake?


A: This must be a mighty strong earthquake