Well in your case Davy would sneak up behind them and jump in with both feet

I'm surprised no one else thought this through, but you should roll from the top for a very good reason. Fecal matter is extremely offensive to most, even if it's your own. There is some risk of contamination from said matter while trying to free your nether region from it, particularly with substandard paper, as typically found in government buildings. Should a catastrophic failure of the poor quality paper occur, contamination results, both instantly & unapologetically. Rolling from the bottom places the paper in close proximity to the wall, making for a high potential of cross-contamination from the hand to the wall after such a disastrous accident. As a matter of fact (no pun intended), I'm quite sure there are perpetrators on death row whose convictions directly resulted from DNA testing of samples which were removed from the vicinity of the paper roll, gained from an unfortunate & unavoidable urge that reared its ugly head after a homicidal event. This could even be the a scenario you see on an upcoming episode of CSI. Of course, this also suggests that the use of single ply paper hanging from the bottom might be an effective security measure; however, the preferred method is a good alarm system & a loaded .45 ACP by the bed.

Thank you & have a contamination-free day.

That was so deep tuck it brought a tear to my eye thanks

darraxx wrote: That was so deep tuck it brought a tear to my eye thanks

Just don't wipe your tear with your hand.

What is this "wiping" everyone is talking about? Is this something I should be doing?

Does Bacon on the hoof need tp

Oh a Good point Manny wash hands before returning to dog fight thank you

Reck!ess wrote: What is this "wiping" everyone is talking about? Is this something I should be doing?

Funniest post of the week, well done.

Tuck wrote: I'm surprised no one else thought this through, but you should roll from the top for a very good reason. Fecal matter is extremely offensive to most , even if it's your own . There is some risk of contamination from said matter while try ing to free your nether region from it, particularly with substandard paper, as typically found in government buildings. Should a catastrophic failure of the poor quality paper occur, contamination results, both in stantly & unapologetically. Rolling from the bottom places the paper in close proximity to the wall, making for a high potential of cross-contamination from the hand to the .

"with no feeling in the legs"...

BEST POST OF THE MONTH IMO, BELL!!!!

bellsaj wrote: To this question there is no simple answer.
You can't say top or bottom just because you think that either of them feels rigt for you.
It's a lot of different factors that has to be considered.
The quality of the paper.
Is it one, two, or three layers of paper?
Is it a soft cosy paper, or is it like sanding your butt when you use it.

The location of the paper.
Is it on the right or the left side?
Is it infront of you or do you have to turn and almost fall of the toilet to reach for it?
Is it attached to the wall or does it stand on the floor?

The hight of the toilet.
Can you sit on the toilet for a good while without loosing the feeling of your legs?

Is there a bidé in the bathroom/toilet?
Do you have access to wet wipes?
Last but not the least.
How is it constructed?

A

B

These two different technical solutions leave no room for personal feelings.
You can place the paper how ever you want to but in the end it'll only work if you place it their way.

//Bell (on the toilet, with no feeling in the legs, the paper on the left side, standing on the floor,two layers soft and cosy paper, from the top.)

Yes we have to give this one to bell and tuck comes in a respected second it was the Csi thing

darraxx wrote: Yes we have to give this one to bell and tuck comes in a respected second it was the Csi thing

Oh, I see, you gotta have pictures to win. Didn't know that. I'll see what I can do...

Uplandbird wrote:
Ok here's another one...

Do you put on sock , sock, then shoes,
Or sock shoe sock shoe?
I was told I was an idiot for sock shoe sock shoe, lol

Bird, I got tired of finding matching socks all the time Now its Boot Boot for me

I never decide...when it's empty I leave the new roll on the counter and it's on the next time I'm there.

As for the sock shoe sock shoe, um, I don't even know what to say...something not quite right about that...I bet either you are really good at like art or we'll all hear how you evaded the police for so long. Have you always done it that way? Does your family? Out of curiosity anything else like that you do? I tried to think of anything equally bizarre but I can't.

The things people do...that's awesome...never would have crossed my mind

From the bottom to the bottom

Reck!ess wrote: What is this "wiping" everyone is talking about? Is this something I should be doing?

No and do not worry about that, porks are excused.

BrianC219 wrote:

Attachment not found

Where's my shotgun?........

Whiplash wrote: As for the sock shoe sock shoe, um, I don't even know what to say...something not quite right about that...I bet either you are really good at like art or we'll all hear how you evaded the police for so long. Have you always done it that way? Does your family? Out of curiosity anything else like that you do? I tried to think of anything equally bizarre but I can't.

I agree, Whip!

It seems almost as strange as putting on one pants leg, then one shirt sleeve, the other pant leg then the other sleeve. Or putting food in your mouth then using your knife and fork to cut it.

.

as long as it gets the job done, if its off the top you can wipe your fingers, if you get poo on them

We'll I see J used that roll right to very end anyone have another roll. This could get messy. Well I've learned one thing here spiders need T P..I bet no one yells at him to hurry up

Uplandbird wrote:

BrianC219 wrote:

Attachment not found

Where's my shotgun?........

There are many genera of wolf spider, ranging in body size (legs not included) from less than 1 to 35 millimetres (0.04 to 1.38 in).[1][2] They have eight eyes arranged in three rows . The bottom row consists of four small eyes , the middle row has two very large eyes (which distinguishes them from the Pisauridae ), and the top row has two medium-sized eyes . They depend on their excellent eyesight to hunt . They also possess an acute sense of touch / .

woospy wrote:

Uplandbird wrote:

BrianC219 wrote:

Attachment not found

Where's my shotgun?........

There are many genera of wolf spider, ranging in body size (legs not included) from less than 1 to 35 millimetres (0.04 to 1.38 in).[1][2] They have eight eyes arranged in three rows . The bottom row consists of four small eyes , the middle row has two very large eyes (which distinguishes them from the Pisauridae ), and the top row has two medium-sized eyes . They depend on their excellent eyesight to hunt . They also possess an acute sense of touch / .

You must spend a lot of time in the head to know that much about spiders!!!

BTJ582 wrote:

woospy wrote:

Uplandbird wrote:

BrianC219 wrote:

Attachment not found

Where's my shotgun?........

There are many genera of wolf spider, ranging in body size (legs not included) from less than 1 to 35 millimetres (0.04 to 1.38 in).[1][2] They have eight eyes arranged in three rows . The bottom row consists of four small eyes , the middle row has two very large eyes (which distinguishes them from the Pisauridae ), and the top row has two medium-sized eyes . They depend on their excellent eyesight to hunt . They also possess an acute sense of touch / .

You must spend a lot of time in the head to know that much about spiders!!!

Lol-yes !! : it's a long way to reach Uranus !

I think he wants to go let him I'm.using the the john down at the gas station

BrianC219 wrote:

Attachment not found

Fry it with lots of garlic, and savor it moistened with a few drops of lemon juice. Yummm...

And no, I am NOT kidding.

(edit: I refer to the spider, not the paper)

Hmm sounds tasty we need birde to shoot it first. A twelve gauge with Buck shot might work. But maybe he's one of those guys in the bathroom that's there to help you. You know he unrolls the paper for you. Just what do you give him for a tip

McFate wrote:

Whiplash wrote: As for the sock shoe sock shoe, um, I don't even know what to say...something not quite right about that...I bet either you are really good at like art or we'll all hear how you evaded the police for so long. Have you always done it that way? Does your family? Out of curiosity anything else like that you do? I tried to think of anything equally bizarre but I can't.

I agree, Whip!

It seems almost as strange as putting on one pants leg, then one shirt sleeve, the other pant leg then the other sleeve. Or putting food in your mouth then using your knife and fork to cut it.

I know right! I never had a clue it was weird until someone pointed it out to me....

Geeeez, you and Whip are mean, I got feelings ya know..
I still do it I don't care what you say, so there! Dramatic exit-->slams door! catches purse in it, rips at purse, 100 dollar purse lost to to tearing handle off, it's just the way I am, lol