I don't have much time. I was just in an engagement with federal troops conducting operations in the Deep South. My militia was able to establish contact with the Mississippi Regulars 465 using morse code with pig Latin. It was difficult. Texas is still under a media blackout despite having largely repelled the Jade Helm invaders. In private circles, the Battle of WalMart 235 was considered a major turning point in our conflict.

We learned from those good ole boys in Mississippi, that Jade Helm is in full swing there. Naturally, we hit the road to help. I was travelling under the guise of a family vacation to Orange Beach, Alabama. We plan to use Alabama as a staging ground for hit and run raids in Mississippi. Don't worry about my family, they are trained operators and veterans of the Texas conflict.

No sooner had we crossed into Mississippi than I witness federal troops openly moving in uparmored HUMVEEs. They were everywhere. I stopped for gas and was engaged. I am guessing the intel is out on me, since I was pivotal in turning the tide of Federal Usurpation in the Great State of Confusion that is Texas!

The area was sparsely populated. I was filling up with gas when I heard the report of a gunshot. I immediately took cover and laid down some suppressive fire. I think I hit something because there was a lot of screaming after I got done shooting. The stinking cowards cut and run!

I noticed an old boy in a wheel chair selling boiled peanuts. He said he got hurt when some lawless federal troops tried to run him down. I told him I can sympathize because thos sumbitches just took a shot at me! He told me he thought the gun shot was actually old Rufus's '82 Chevy pickup backfiring (no muffler and carburetor problems). I told him that was the same kind of sneaky shit Obama's commandos pulled in Texas. They use stuff like engine backfires to mask gunfire! Guess what boiled peanut fella told me? Rufus voted for Obama! He's in on the damn coup!!!

Boiled peanut fella (I can't use his name for security reasons due to Obama supporters like Davy Crockett reading this thread) put me in touch with the local freedom fighters, the Mississippi Regulators 465th Regiment! These boys are sharp, and I expect we will liberate Mississippi by the end of the week. This regiment was formerly the Glazer's local 465. They had a BBQ with some party favors supplied by Glazer. IN vino veritas! Once some beer freed their minds, they put 2 and 2 together and came up with federal invasion! Thank God, they were in time. Unfortunately the damn DHS and Baptists have locked down all the booze in the state to try and crush our fighting spirit. We desperately need beer and whiskey. PM me for delivery instructions!

PS. DO NOT eat the Bluebell Ice Cream now back in production. The listeria out break was a cover up for the DHS and NSA to mix mind control chemicals that activate when a person eating Bluebell wathces programming on the TLC Network.

I have attached a picture of some of the boys from the 465th! Wish us well!!

Other than that, not much happening?
Everything else pretty normal then?

The long tall Texan swung his semitar that he'd forged in the crusade that he waged against Bell Star and consulted the Oracle of the cyclotron, who said the atoms of the universe had been putting us on. There's a horse in a tree, it's turning into cheese, it's fed to a computer that speaks Japanese, and we're going to be invaded! I'm feeling kind of numb, the lost city of Atlantis has developed the bomb because the end of the world is coming, don't you see? Or is it that you're just too damn blind? Oh, but sit back, relax and have another cup of tea, and don't pay me no mind.

Be careful about that guy selling them goobers, Tex. He's probably got the whole franchise master plan on a roll of microfiche stuffed who knows where? Shake em down and record every word when he starts speaking in tongues. You'll need the sequence to establish the reload connection. Let your pheromones lead the way and you can tiptoe through the tulips without so much as a moan from the gunnery sergeant. If he wakes roll him over and recite the alphabet backwards until he falls back asleep. Works every time!

YOU CALLED ME A OBAMA SUPPORTER, UGGGGGGGGG

no one calls me a Obama supporter and gets away with it. You sir are now a marked man, I will use all the government resources at my disposal to hunt you down. I told my friend TRUMP what you called me and he will also use his money to track you down.

My great great grandfather the great DAVY CROCKETT died for your stupid state. I was dedicated to your stupid state, that is until you called me a Obama supported.

I hope that Texas is defeated by the Obama troops.

You don't know how bad you have just hurt me. I'm crying so hard that I can't hear the voices in my head that are trying to calm me down.

Come on, Davy. It was just a joke. Why'd you tell Trump. He is gonna sue me twenty different ways to Sunday. I was only kidding. I know you hate Obama. You've always had a thing for Hillary. Hard to forgive Obama for that first trouncing.

Why oh why would you even joke about me being a Obama fan.

Now you accuse me of having the hots for Hillary

The voices in my head is screaming. I'm holding my head in shame. What if somebody here actually believes it, oh my, my reputation and popularity could be ruined, ugggggggggg

I'm crying

So Davy, I am guessing there is no chance of you flying around as Barrack O'Crockett? Lol, sorry I couldn't help myself.

SEE TXLAWMAN, see what you started. I'm crying

How dare you. Ugggggg poor poor me.

Gannet wrote: Other than that, not much happening?
Everything else pretty normal then?

Everything else? This is pretty normal down here lol

TXLAWMAN wrote: Come on, Davy. It was just a joke. Why'd you tell Trump. He is gonna sue me twenty different ways to Sunday. I was only kidding. I know you hate Obama. You've always had a thing for Hillary. Hard to forgive Obama for that first trouncing.

Hellory