So, in yesterdays events i found myself raging again and going off on wc and there was one post here on forum (sorry paul). So, i figured i just make this thread to show my condecensions. Sorry paul and ppl of world chat who had to experience the darkest sides of me. For reasons i cant explain what caused me to go off, but after a good nights of rest and a rejuvenated mind i realize that i just made a booboo.

Actually, for those who would like to get to know me more and try to understand why i have such rage in my good ol heart let me take you through a walk in my shoes. Ill start off at day one and go from there to presnt. Cause ive been depressed latley. Like many others i have my good days and its rare i have my bad days, but when my day is bad its BAD. I know life is rough so i shouldnt complain to much, i know i should be stronger but hell i guess in some events im just not. I try to be as strong as i possibly can but every now and then the walls come down (can you blame me?)

So heres just some stuff about me. I live in a house with my dad, step mom and my three siblings. Im 21, i been to jail 8 times since i turned 18 (first time i went to jail i spent Christmas eve in booking and release just a couple weeks after my 18th b day) i was taken from my drunken real mom when i was just two years old and i can still remember the night all that went down. My real mom has never really been in my life exept for a few times shes come down to visit me (last time i saw here was 3 years ago for my graduation). Ive done drugs and drank, sometimes where good most where bad. I can say i hit rock bottom but im proud to announce after all this hell i had a suporting family to be there and now im back on my feet baby.

Now, im not gonna bash my life but where ive come from you gotta stand on two feet and you gotta be strong, it isnt an option. Life is tough and only the strong will servive. But its not going out a whopping someones ass that makes you strong, its being a man and taking care of business and fixing your faults that make you strong. To get up every morning and say "im gonna kick this bad worlds ass". But, like many other warriors i do have my scars. Ive been wounded on the inside and out. I can say i lack the confidence i need to get the things i want to be more happy.

So eventhough i have my moments when im low in the dirt i can say my life really isnt all that bad. I can say that i am proud and happy to be where i am today. Jesus is my good Lord and God bless AMERICA

Be strong my young friend.
You've accomplished the hardest part. Realization.

You'll be in Judy's and my prayers.

I have a lot of respect for you and your post.

As Paul said, first step is realization. Second step is accountability. We each have our own reasons for the Past, but they do nothing to explain our Present. Every action is the result of a choice, and since we're not kids any more, those decisions are ours alone. Our own special needs kid has a lot of reasons to be pissed at the world, but we don't (can't, shouldn't) give her an inch when it comes to accountability for her own decisions. She does it, it's hers - good or bad.

Best thing we can do here is treat you exactly like we'd treat anyone else. No better, no worse, based on what we each see. I wouldn't expect anyone to do any different for me either. And I look forward to seeing you around.

Manfred

Hey, bro. I have known you through the game for a while now and I know that you have the occasional bad day. I would be lying if I said I don't have these days too, but it is how you deal with them that builds your character as a person. When I log on to Dogfight, it is to unwind and relax after a tough day at work and a tougher day when I get home trying to keep my kids from murdering each other and trying to keep my wife from murdering the kids!
The best advice I can give you is when you feel like you are about to lose your temper, take a step back from the situation and take a few deep breaths. It is a lot easier to deal with stuff without the rage trying to take over. You are a good guy, don't let the rage define you as a person. There are a lot of good people here who would be more than happy to lend an ear if you need to talk, don't push them away. We may fly under different banners, but we are all here for the same reasons.
Take care of yourself, see you in the air!