So you get up and go to the bathroom. You do your thing and go to start the paper work. But when you go to start the roll falls and rolls all the way across the room. Your alone and there is no tidy bowl man to rescue you. WHAT DO YOU DO ?

There is always the towel on the rack that the wife says not to use because it's part of the decor. This is a emergency situation...she will understand

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[*M]bhfoust wrote: There is always the towel on the rack that the wife says not to use because it's part of the decor. This is a emergency situation...she will understand

I have found from experiance that my boxer shorts are cheaper and cause no arguement between me and the old lady...

Well to tell the truth i was considering the cat but he ran away. When i looked at him

Just go back to bed, slide in next to wifey poo, carefully reach over and grab her nitey and do your housecleaning. When she wakes in the morning you can say, um hon, problem last nite? Hehehehe

Ok, this is sooo wrong.......pardon me folks

Dr CurtisShoe wrote: Just go back to bed, slide in next to wifey poo, carefully reach over and grab her nitey and do your housecleaning. When she wakes in the morning you can say, um hon, problem last nite? Hehehehe

Ok, this is sooo wrong.......pardon me folks

OH THATS NOT RIGHT

Just pull up your underpants and carry on. Your underpants will act as a barrier between the pooper and your pants, gez why do think you even wear them for, it's the only purpose that's makes sense.
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Darraxx, a proper soldier always has a secondary plan of attack. Why were you not wearing socks!

If you're alone, couldn't you just... y'know -- waddle over and get it?

Sheesh!

With the proper diet and excercise you will drop clean every time! And it won't even smell bad!

Just ask any vegan! They'll tell you that their s*** doesn't stink!

this topic is hilarious! I would probably do what luna said lol

darraxx wrote: So you get up and go to the bathroom. You do your thing and go to start the paper work. But when you go to start the roll falls and rolls all the way across the room. Your alone and there is no tidy bowl man to rescue you. WHAT DO YOU DO ?

if it ever happened to me I wouldn't do anything.
Cuz I'd be laughing my head off, thinking about this topic!
And the cat? That's what I believe they were created for! And come on! Do YOU have a towel that will cleen it'self!

Oh Darr......

You come up with some beauts!

Too funny and great to read!

Finally a thread I can contribute to!

Waddle Waddle Waddle. Sounds good but remember to pick up any dropping that might occurs.
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Never mind it's probably is dried up by now so take a shower.

Id go with luna ..just waddle on over but after making sure all the goods have been delivered so to speak ...anyone else had the nightmare scenario of it wont flush and your at someone elses house , in the end had to get water out of the sink and pour it down the toilet

darraxx wrote: So you get up and go to the bathroom. You do your thing and go to start the paper work. But when you go to start the roll falls and rolls all the way across the room. Your alone and there is no tidy bowl man to rescue you. WHAT DO YOU DO ?

Hey, doesn't "Murphy's law" determine that this is most likely to happen while on a dream date, in a public rest room at a fine restaurant?

To add to McFate's point, I believe the second law of thermodynamics might come into play here.

What would I do?
Yell for someone to bring me a computer to play dogfight

Sounds like suicide to me

sangenstres wrote: What would I do?
Yell for someone to bring me a computer to play dogfight

There you go!

Weather[*M]an wrote: To add to McFate's point, I believe the second law of thermodynamics might come into play here.

Huh?

How do you figure?

As I see it, your are an "isolated system" perched all lonesome on the porcelan throne. Therefore you would expire befor you reach entropy (a clean back side) while just sitting there.

Look:

ΔS = ∫ (dQrev )/ T

At any reasonable calculation of the "soil erosion rate", the rate of heat loss (dQrev /T) would cause you to die of hypothermia before you reached the desired cleanliness. No?

Ewww comet that pic with the blood dripping is soooooo gross! Seen stuff like that after another female ewwwwww

That is gross! Sorry I never really noticed that...just the eyes and the teeth at the seat...gotta pay closer attention next time...

Well Fate as cleanliness would suggest order and entropy is a pseudonym for chaos, I believe your calculations would need to work in reverse. This is not necessarily being applied to the cleaning process as much as it is being applied to how one would wind up in such a predicament to begin with.

This reminds me of a story...

One time, I was in a public bathroom, regretting getting that State Fair Mac 'n' cheese. Obviously, I ate that because... Mac. Duh.

Anyway, I was doing my duty, pondering life on earth, humming Journey songs to myself... The usual, when I noticed there was no toilet paper in the stall. There was a man in the stall to my left, grunting laboriously, and another at the urinal.

However: the stall to the right was out of order: and I knew for a fact that it indeed had toilet paper. If I could get out and around the corner. All I had to do, was wait until urinal guy was gone, zip to the broken stall, and viola, problem solved.

As soon as urinal guy left, I pulled up my pants 75% of the way, pulled down my shirt, and shuffled out into the great unknown. It was going great, up until I found out the stall was locked.

I slipped back into my stall to regroup and strategize. I decided I had to wait until the guy on my left had finished.

Twelve minutes later, the trucker pulled his wheels out of the stall, leaving me to my own devices.

I slipped around.d the corner into the adjacent stall and sat down on the still-warm toilet seat. I let out my breath. As I finally utilized the soft, blessed, two-ply miracles of modern science, I heard a loud sniffle as someone settled himself into the stall I had just been occupying. I sniggered. Someone with the same problem I had just had. It was a little funny, to be honest.

Then, pulling up my pants, I had a dreadful realization: I had left my phone in the stall.

I knocked abashedly on the stall door. The occupant grunted conversationally.

"Ummm, excuse me, my phone's in there", I explained.

"What?"

"On the toilet paper dispenser", I directed.

As he skid my phone under the door, I saw his hand double-take. "There's no toilet paper in here", he said.

"I know."

An awkward silence. Then, I said "I'll be leaving now", and did just that.

The moral of the story. Don't eat the Mac and cheese.

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Thanks buck that was to funny.