Great points, Sir Whip, although I think the unbalanced part of the game has its advantages. Specifically when you are in an unbalanced game and on the outnumbered side it is great to be able to hold off wave after wave of incoming reds. Some of those times are the most fun I personally have had playing dogfight. I find some of the balanced games tedious as its pretty much just fly to mid field, engage reds, shoot a few down, get shot down, repeat until eyes bleed.
I think its fair to say anyone who has played this game for any length of time has been outnumbered and sneaked upon (is that how you say it?), and spawn killed while outnumbered. Pretty much the only thing you can do is fight till the bitter end or quit the game and give the reds the cheap and easy win. Nothing else you can really do about the way others play or where their "game ethics" are. To echo what you said, Whip, just play to make yourself proud and most importantly (in my opinion) have fun!