Davy. The name inspires fear, terror, horror, wet pants, and all other things commonly associated with Stephen King movies.
For too long has this southern-style psycho stolen the souls of our soldiers, slashed our chutes, and sold his pseudo-stupidity under suspicious circumstances.
Well, no longer. Dogfight community, i present to you the entire "Encyclopedia on The Prevention Of Being Suckered Or Killed A Lot By Davy Crockett"
It consists of five full, paperback, copyrighted manuals: the first is "How to not let Davy Shoot You", for $21.99.
The second is "how To Deal With Bullying, You Stupid Fat Moron," For $18.99
The third is "How to Avoid Being caught in an Internet Book-selling Scam", for $27.99
The fourth is "What To do if Someone else Tries to Make Money Off Davy" for $17.99
The final one is "Locating the Quit Button on All Devices" for $15.99
All puchases must be made with cash, and must include you credit card number, social security code, and bank information.





Davy Crockett will recieve 48% of the royalties gained by this series. The rest will go to cleaning up those beaches over in the "Earth Day Tire Fire" thread. Seriously. Thats disgusting.

Now this is funny to. Replies will be a coming lol

I would like to buy 2 copies of each. If you check my stats, I've been killed over 20,000 times. More than half of those came from Bully Crockett. Please send them NEXT DAY AIR, I can't wait much longer. Now I'm crying...

I too will take a copy of each.....but in normal Davey fashion, I will just forward "all" the $$$ on to him.....its so much easier mathematically for him.

is there a book on how to shoot davy too? I want one of those!

Sign me up for one Mac!

111|Royal Flush wrote: is there a book on how to shoot davy too? I want one of those!

im sure Davey has a cliff notes version.......meaning over the cliff with you and your $$...

Is there a book in that series called........

"How to save your skin".

As a special deal, you can buy all five books, plus audiobooks (for those M.O.M's who forgot how to read) for a mere $100 even. Also included will be a photoshopped screenshot of you shooting Davy down for a confidence booster.



Happy reading,
Mac

Given the monstrous success of the first series (four monsters bought it!) I've decided to create a sequel called "How to Defeat Blue Max Because It's Really Hard, Because He Usually Ends Up Shooting You"
The first book is called "How To Wish You Were A Better Player"
The Second book is "How to Photoshop Statlines"
There is no third, because that's literally all I could think of. Dammit, Max...
All three (well, actually two, but I like the term trilogy) books are $24.99 in the USA, $27.99 in Canada, and $30.99 in M.O.M.

Here is a sample text from my upcoming book, "To Mock A KillingZebra"
"in dogfight mode, fly directly at him, spraying him with bullets at a distance. If he begins to turn towards you, autodestroy immediately, and continue to do so until you spawn nowhere near him. Locate him again. Rinse and repeat until lucky enough to hit him twice. Make a stinging jab in chat about him not killing you. (IMPORTANT: only complete this step when out of parashooting range)"...

Mac McMaster wrote: Davy. The name inspires fear, terror, horror, wet pants, and all other things commonly associated with Stephen King movies.
For too long has this southern-style psycho stolen the souls of our soldiers, slashed our chutes, and sold his pseudo-stupidity under suspicious circumstances.
Well, no longer. Dogfight community, i present to you the entire "Encyclopedia on The Prevention Of Being Suckered Or Killed A Lot By Davy Crockett"
It consists of five full, paperback, copyrighted manuals: the first is "How to not let Davy Shoot You", for $21.99.
The second is "how To Deal With Bullying, You Stupid Fat Moron," For $18.99
The third is "How to Avoid Being caught in an Internet Book-selling Scam", for $27.99
The fourth is "What To do if Someone else Tries to Make Money Off Davy" for $17.99
The final one is "Locating the Quit Button on All Devices" for $15.99
All puchases must be made with cash, and must include you credit card number, social security code, and bank information.





Davy Crockett will recieve 48% of the royalties gained by this series. The rest will go to cleaning up those beaches over in the "Earth Day Tire Fire" thread. Seriously. Thats disgusting.

Don't be taking in by this scam fellows Dogfighters . For donations of $25. Cash. I'm going to tell you how not to let Davy shoot you, it so simple, just leave the server you're on and hope he don't follow .On the second one ,easy go on a diet and shoot the Bully. #3 first of all no one read books any more, for a small fee I'll tell you how to down load books #4 read the fine print , the only person that can make money off Davy is Mrs. Crockett she holds 99.9% of the stock on Davy and all royalties . Now you all know why poor old Davy is always crying. Finally the quit button is used only when everything else fails. This way when you are getting your butt handed back to you , You can hit the quit button than go on the forum and explain how sorry you are that you lost connection. Wait a minute I just did that.

Only wau to fix davy os to send your credot card info and alll personal documents via I'd ssi card.lol maybe a few blank checks thay r signed. Lol

Lol, funny stuff, HERE I AM HARD AT WORK.

Sry double posted

Shhhh hes here put ur wallets away quick

Davy don't let us breathe *let us shoot sometimes...*

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHA, awesome thread Mac, yes hide your wallets, hide them really good...did you know Davy is one of the best pickpocketers?

That's OK...let davy pickpocket! For only $100.99 a week I can offer you an insurance plane for lost and or stolen wallets!

I also have a nice business going where for only $42.42 a month I will advertise for you right here on the forum, whatever books you might be selling!

All you need for either of these amazing purchases is to send me your creditcard, and social security card, along with a valid form if identification!

any reply to and or quoting of this post implies written consent for Royal Flush Incorporated to use your creditcard, social security number, bank accounts, and other highly personal information for profitmaking purposes without fear of legal prosectution

Listen, this was really good reading if I didn't know a little bit about business I'd buy the set today, but beings I do, I know as soon as stock gets low you'll offer the series on how to be a Davy Crockett wannabe in less than a month not the normal year it takes, with Titles like How to fly n shoot like Davy be feared and Called a Bully, Davy if your reading this just tell the promoter to send it directly to me he don't need the money it was your work I'll Pm you with my address and I'll send you the complete payment that way you get 100℅ and hey if you don't want the misses knowing I'll deliver it by a unmarked drone. But until I'm going to just keep practicing until I figure all this out, like for starters how n when do you use the bomb button can't seem to figure a use for it.

FOX#1 wrote: Is there a book in that series called........

"How to save your skin".

sorry, Fox, but those of us who DON'T have red, luscious fur are more concerned about our planes than such barboury.

RLD[M]Stover wrote: Listen, this was really good reading if I didn't know a little bit about business I'd buy the set today, but beings I do, I know as soon as stock gets low you'll offer the series on how to be a Davy Crockett wannabe in less than a month not the normal year it takes, with Titles like How to fly n shoot like Davy be feared and Called a Bully, Davy if your reading this just tell the promoter to send it directly to me he don't need the money it was your work I'll Pm you with my address and I'll send you the complete payment that way you get 100℅ and hey if you don't want the misses knowing I'll deliver it by a unmarked drone. But until I'm going to just keep practicing until I figure all this out, like for starters how n when do you use the bomb button can't seem to figure a use for it.

shhhhhhh, you're warning- i mean, SCARING- my customers away!

Mac McMaster wrote:

FOX#1 wrote: Is there a book in that series called........

"How to save your skin".

sorry, Fox, but those of us who DON'T have red, luscious fur are more concerned about our planes than such barboury.

FOX is a looker that's for sure. Hmmmmm hmmmmmmmm hmmmmmmm hmmmmmm. Yummy.

Mac McMaster wrote: As a special deal, you can buy all five books, plus audiobooks (for those M.O.M's who forgot how to read) for a mere $100 even. Also included will be a photoshopped screenshot of you shooting Davy down for a confidence booster.



Happy reading,
Mac

ROFL....i can't hold it anymore!!!! Bwahahahahahaha!!!

Davy Crockett wrote:

Mac McMaster wrote:

FOX#1 wrote: Is there a book in that series called........

"How to save your skin".

sorry, Fox, but those of us who DON'T have red, luscious fur are more concerned about our planes than such barboury.

FOX is a looker that's for sure. Hmmmmm hmmmmmmmm hmmmmmmm hmmmmmm. Yummy.

FOX#1 wrote:

Davy Crockett wrote:

Mac McMaster wrote:

FOX#1 wrote: Is there a book in that series called........

"How to save your skin".

sorry, Fox, but those of us who DON'T have red, luscious fur are more concerned about our planes than such barboury.

FOX is a looker that's for sure. Hmmmmm hmmmmmmmm hmmmmmmm hmmmmmm. Yummy.

Hmm....fur hats!!!
(I do have a book for sale on how to obtain materials for making these awesome fashsion statements...)

111|Royal Flush wrote:

FOX#1 wrote:

Davy Crockett wrote:

Mac McMaster wrote:

FOX#1 wrote: Is there a book in that series called........

"How to save your skin".

sorry, Fox, but those of us who DON'T have red, luscious fur are more concerned about our planes than such barboury.

FOX is a looker that's for sure. Hmmmmm hmmmmmmmm hmmmmmmm hmmmmmm. Yummy.

Hmm....fur hats!!!
(I do have a book for sale on how to obtain materials for making these awesome fashsion statements...)

Flush, it costs a 27% royalty to advertise your material on my thread...

everyone should just send me all their credit cards and cash along with all identification records and I will personally protect all of your funds from Davy in my own personal bank account.(disclaimer= funds will not be returned in the same amount that was sent, your credit score will drop, and you will have zero assets left)

Here's a sample from my book, "How to be a Better Player".
Step 1: Bomb ground targets.

Step 2: Kill Air Targets.

Step 3: Check the leaderboard.

Step 4: Do the Krebs landing.


Step 5: When near death, scream like a banshee.

AAAAAAHHHHHH

Available for $124.99 on Amazon!


No refunds or negotiations.