there is an English man a French man a mexican and a Texan on a small plane traveling cross country when the pilot announces on the long speaker that we are havin machanical problem and to make to the next airport three of you are going to have to jump so a least one of u survive. So the English man takes a breath and Holars "god save the queen" and jumps. This really inspires the French man who takes a breath and Holars viva la France and jumps his really pumps the Texan who next Holars REMEBER THE ALIMO and grabs the mexican and thoughts him out the plane.

So on the first day that it snows, Mickey Mouse wakes up, looks out his window, and sees "MICKEY SUCKS" written in the snow in pee. He immediately calls the cops. After thorough investigation, the cops come to Mickey and say "we have bad news and worse news... the bad news is it's Goofy's urine, the worse news is it's Minnie's handwriting."

Thats pretty funny. Thx for the good lauh snidley

Thanks, I have many more but not appropriate for this forum

ok then........
those were funny

Papa mole and mama mole and baby mole wake up in the morning. Papa sticks his out the hole and says, "I smell honey". Mama mole squeezes up beside papa and sticks her head out, she says, "I smell maple syrup". Baby tries to squeeze to the left and can't fit. He squeezes to the right and still doesn't fit. Finally he says, "all I can smell is moleasses".

Now that's funny right there

lol. sho can you please make your banner smaller it is to big

Snidley can u pm me those jokes.

The jokes I know are more if you know someone's nature and sense of humor... since what they lack in sophistication they make up for it with shock and pure revolting behavior. Like anyone seen the movie The Aristocrats

Two medical students were walking across campus when they saw an old dr.:::: Walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.
One student said to his friend:I'm sure that poor old dr. Has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that. The other student says no I don't think so. The old dr. Surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and legs wide apart,just as we learned in class.
Since they couldn't agree they decided ask the old Dr. One of the students said to him, we're medical students and couldn't help but notice how u walk,but couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is.
The old Dr.:::::: said I'll tell you, but first tell me what you two fine medical students think.
The first student said, I think it's Peltry Syndrome .
The old Dr. Said you thought-but you are wrong.
The other student said ,I think it's Zovitizki Syndrome...
The old Dr.... Said you thought but you are wrong.
So they asker old timer what do you have?
The od Dr. Said , I thought it was GAS-but I was wrong, too!!!!

You should pm me ur joke to me to.

Ha I just laughed so hard i "gassed"!!!!!!

3 men get stranded on a deserted island. They meet some Indians. They say if u fit 10 of one fruit in your mouth well let u live. The first guy try's pears but he only gets 3 in. So they kill him. The second guy tries grapes and gets all 10 in so they let him live. Then he chokes on the grapes and dies. So the 2 men are talking in heaven. The first guy says to the second why didnt you spit them out they would have let you live? The second guy says, I was but then I started to laugh. The first guy was why'd you laugh? The second guy replies i saw the third guy trying to fit a watermellon in his mouth!



Three men are on a plane, a carpenter a ninja and a soldier. The piolet tells them to drop their favorite item out of the plane cause they were going to crash. So the carpenter drops his hammer the ninja his sword and the soldier his grenade. A policemen is walking thorugh the neighborhood when he sees a guy crying. He goes why are you crying? The man replies a hammer fell out of the sky and destroyed my car. . The policeman walks next door and sees a little girl crying. He goes what is the matter? The girl says a sword fell out of the sky and cut my plants so that they are now dead. . The man then walks next door and sees a boy laughing but he is standing in an empty lot. The policeman says why are you laughing when I guys car is ruined and a girls plants are dead? The boy says laughing, my grandmaw farted and the house blew up!

lol those are halarious striker
i saw something sort of like the 2nd one on jeff dunham. it was with walter lol i laugh so hard with thast show

Alexninja wrote: there is an English man a French man a mexican and a Texan on a small plane traveling cross country when the pilot announces on the long speaker that we are havin machanical problem and to make to the next airport three of you are going to have to jump so a least one of u survive. So the English man takes a breath and Holars "god save the queen" and jumps. This really inspires the French man who takes a breath and Holars viva la France and jumps his really pumps the Texan who next Holars REMEBER THE ALIMO and grabs the mexican and thoughts him out the plane.

You know you should really find the old joke thread. It had tons of funnies in there.

Yea its called tell a funny story

Cool thx

An American tourist went into a restaurant in a Spanish provincial city for dinner, and asked to be served the specialty of the house. When the dish arrived, he asked what kind of meat it contained."Senor, these are the cojones," the waiter replied."The what, you say? " exclaimed the tourist."They are the testicles of the bull killed in the ring today," explained the waiter.
The tourist gulped but tasted the dish anyway, and found it delicious.
Returning the following evening, he asked for the same dish. After he finished the meal, the tourist commented to the waiter: "Today's cojones are much saltier and smaller than the ones I had yesterday. "True, senor," agreed the waiter. "You see the bull, he does not always lose. "

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper. " "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking fancy meal! " "I know all that. " "Then why did you invite a friend for supper? " "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married. "

Ok here's one of the best ones i found lol
A British General had sent some of his men off to fight for their country in the Falkland Island Crisis. Upon returning to England from the South American island, three soldiers that had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to the General's office. "Since we weren't actually at war," the General began, "I can't give out any medals. We did, however, want to let each of you know your efforts were appreciated. What we've decided to do is to let each of you choose two points on your body. You will be given two pounds sterling for each inch of distance between those parts. We'll start on the left, boys, so what'll it be? " Soldier 1: "The tip of me head to me toes, sahr! " General: "Very good son, that's 70 inches which comes to 140 pounds "Soldier 2: "The tip of the finger on one outstretched hand to the tip of the other, sir! "General: "Even better son, that's 72 inches which comes to 144 pounds " Soldier 3: "The palm of me hand to the tip of me left pinky, sahr! "General: "That's a strange but fair request, son! As the general begins the measurement: "What! Son, where is your left pinky? "Soldier 3: "Falkland Island, sahr! "

Jesus, Moses and an old man go out to play golf. the first hole is a par 3 over water. Jesus tees off right into the water, but he calmly walks on top of the water up to his ball and chips up onto the green. Moses tees off into the water also but raises his hands, parts the water and chips up onto the green. The old man steps up and plop right in the water but they hear an eagle cry from above and the eagle swoops down and grabs a fish from the water that has the ball in his mouth. The eagle circles the hole, shakes the fish and the ball lands in the hole! Jesus turns to the old man and says, "C'mon Dad stop screwing around and play golf!"

Ha!