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TOPIC: Laughter Dose

Laughter Dose 3 years 1 month ago #332443

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Lol! Thanks Blue!

English! :S

If you're "taking the lead" does it mean that you are in front or does it mean that you're getting filled with bullets?
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Last edit: by [NLR] McFate.

Laughter Dose 3 years 1 month ago #332583

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Laughter Dose 3 years 1 month ago #332584

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I woke up

Bought a Lamborghini

Found a million dollars

Oops I said it backwards



Don't waste your words on people who deserve your silence
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Laughter Dose 3 years 1 month ago #332651

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,


.
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Laughter Dose 3 years 1 month ago #332652

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.




.
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Laughter Dose 3 years 1 month ago #332697

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.




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Laughter Dose 3 years 1 month ago #332698

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Laughter Dose 3 years 1 month ago #332755

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.







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Last edit: by Acegirl.

Laughter Dose 3 years 1 month ago #332760

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Laughter Dose 3 years 1 month ago #332797

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A Man from the toilet shouts to his wife :
- Darling, darling, do you hear me?!!!!
- What happened, did you run out of toilet paper?
- No, restart the router.

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Last edit: by [NLR] The Blue Fighter.

Laughter Dose 3 years 1 month ago #332908

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Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.




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Last edit: by [NLR] The Blue Fighter.

Laughter Dose 3 years 4 weeks ago #332984

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: A dentist, doing his first extraction on a patient,
was understandably nervous.

When he got the molar out, his hand shook, he lost his grip on the instrument,
and the tooth dropped down into the patient's throat.

"Sorry," said the doctor. "You're outside my specialty now.
You should see a laryngologist! [throat specialist]."

By the time the unfortunate victim got to· the laryngologist,
the tooth had worked its way much further down.
The laryngologist examined the man.
"Sorry,"said the doctor, "You're outside my specialty now.
You should see a gastrologist! [stomach specialist]."

The gastrologist X-rayed the patient.
"Sorry," said the doctor,"the tooth has traveled into your lower intestines.
You should see an enterologist! [intestinal specialist].''

The enterologist took some X rays.
"Sorry, the tooth isn't there. It must have gone down farther .
You should see a Proctologist! [a specialist in diseases of the rectum; anus].

The Proctologist's examined the patient....
inserted a proctoscope inside the . . . . and remarked.....
"Good heavens, man! You've got a tooth up there!
You should see a dentist!"

Dedicated to SUPER SPECIALTY HOSPITALS OF TODAY

[/color]
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Laughter Dose 3 years 4 weeks ago #333117

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When I was a kid (some 40+ years ago) my dentist had a sign on the wall that I remember to this day:

"You don't need to floss all of your teeth... only the ones you want to keep."
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Laughter Dose 3 years 4 weeks ago #333147

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Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way
that another person who is listening to him can't understand him.
Do you understand me?
Son: No.
[/size]
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Laughter Dose 3 years 3 weeks ago #333422

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Laughter Dose 3 years 3 weeks ago #333519

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Laughter Dose 3 years 3 weeks ago #333528

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Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
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Laughter Dose 3 years 3 weeks ago #333529

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10 Facts About You:
1. You're reading this now.
2. You're realizing that this is a stupid fact.
4. You didn't notice I skipped number 3.
5. You're checking now.
6. You're smiling.
7. You're still reading this even though it is stupid.
9. You didn't realize I skipped number 8.
10.You're checking again and smiling because you fell for it again.
11. You're enjoying this.
12. You didn't realize I said 10 facts not 12.
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Laughter Dose 3 years 3 weeks ago #333595

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Laughter Dose 3 years 3 weeks ago #333679

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Laughter Dose 3 years 3 weeks ago #333968

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Laughter Dose 3 years 2 weeks ago #334184

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Laughter Dose 3 years 2 weeks ago #334265

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Laughter Dose 3 years 2 weeks ago #334703

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Laughter Dose 3 years 2 weeks ago #334899

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Laughter Dose 3 years 1 week ago #335174

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Laughter Dose 3 years 1 week ago #335414

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Laughter Dose 3 years 1 week ago #335611

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Laughter Dose 3 years 1 week ago #335666

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Laughter Dose 3 years 5 days ago #336104

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A man died and went to The Judgment, they told him ,

“Before you meet with God, I should tell you — we’ve looked over your life, and to be honest you really didn’t do anything particularly good or bad.

We’re not really sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us make a decision?”

The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, “Yeah, once I was driving along and came upon a person who was being harassed by a group of thugs. So I pulled over, got out a bat, and went up to the leader of the thugs. He was a big, muscular guy with a ring pierced through his lip. Well, I tore the ring out of his lip, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering this guy or they would have to deal with me!”

“Wow that’s impressive, “When did this happen?”

“About three minutes ago,” came the reply.

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