Take this time of turmoil in your life (can't play) just to tell a FUNNY story.

NO LOL'S..JUST THANK YOU'S!

Thank you...s

Not sure about the story, but my dad is funny as hell. My dad is like go with the flow and my mom has like everything planed out. So my dad made a wheel, with everything that my mom hates. He spins it everyday and does whatever it lands on. Cracks me up when my mom scolds him. Best tv show there is.

Ok ill share. You kids know what a scorpion is? Well its a 8 legged little demon from hell with a shotgun on its butt.
When I went to high school many many many years a go. I would catch these little creatures of joy.
And carry it to school in my shirt pocket. When I passed somebody in the hall.
That I was not fond of our had a grudge against I would slip this little creature out and place.
It's on their shoulder as they pass in the hall. If you clip off the stinger at the end of their tail. they're harmless
Other than to make you wet yourself are in rare cases soil yourself . It was great fun.
For me but other people never saw the humor im finding a Scorpion on their shoulder .
But that was the 70's where you could have that kind of fun.

lol my dad was born in the seventies i aint got a funny story. my life is fairly boring

well, my lifes boring, but i do have a few redneck tests. anyone ever heard of jeff foxworthy? heres a few he came up with. ones, "if your driving down the road and you see a sign that says say no to crack, you might be a redneck"
if someone yells hoe down and your girlfriend hits the floor, you might be a redneck"
"if you mow your yard and find a car, you might be a redneck"
if your wife says," come move this tranny so i can take a bath", you might be a redneck"
"if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture, you might be a redneck"
if you want more look up "redneck jokes-jeff foxworthy"

Here is a quick funny story that just popped into my mind..........back about 15 years ago, i used to ride a bike to work. I was riding along and for some reason i ran head on into a tractor trailer that was parked on the side if the highway.....i guess i was looking down while i was riding.....pretty embarrassing....

I've done that, except with mailboxes and lampposts....

I hit a car and had to get 10 stiches

A NEW FUNNY STORY?

Sure

something tells me this thread is turning the ol your most embarassing moments stories thread albeit with less embarassement and more physical violence (scorpians, head on crashes etc)

I put a rotten pear on my algebra teachers chair... It's fair, though. He put my homework thru a paper shredder.

CalvinIsAwesome wrote: I put a rotten pear on my algebra teachers chair... It's fair, though. He put my homework thru a paper shredder.

SOUNDS LIKE TOO MUCH DOGFIGHT.

1 WEEK! (Break every now and then. Well, 4 days. Well, 4 hrs.)
We want last yrs. grades from all of you.
Do better than last year.




PLEASE KEEP THIS NICE! ?

One time I was at a restaurant on a boat in philly with some friends from work

I was going thru the menu but I found it interesting that they had the history of the boat in the back of the menu

I'm a huge history geek and I was reading thru about how the boat survived a fire earlier and everything when I was disturbed by the horrified look on the face of my friend sitting across. He was pointing down and I couldnt be bothered and kept saying what whattt but he couldnt say any words. All of a sudden I looked down and the bottom half of the menu was blazing with fire. Of course seeing fire inches away from my face scared me so I quickly did the wise thing and dropped the menu ablaze onto the wooden deck of the boat the boat survived yet again

the culprit was a candle I hadnt noticed on the table

What's that got to do with too much DF? He shreds my homework, I pear his pants. We both laugh.

Kptn Singh wrote: something tells me this thread is turning the ol your most embarassing moments stories thread albeit with less embarassement and more physical violence (scorpians, head on crashes etc)

Then tell us a joke.

That's what I was hoping for.
Just something to lighten the moment....

The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'

Good enough?

Hi

Are blonde jokes alright?

Now back to the story part (kind of) I hope this is classified as a story but here's a conversation I had with a stranger:

Kptn Singh wrote: One time I was at a restaurant on a boat in philly with some friends from work

I was going thru the menu but I found it interesting that they had the history of the boat in the back of the menu

I'm a huge history geek and I was reading thru about how the boat survived a fire earlier and everything when I was disturbed by the horrified look on the face of my friend sitting across. He was pointing down and I couldnt be bothered and kept saying what whattt but he couldnt say any words. All of a sudden I looked down and the bottom half of the menu was blazing with fire. Of course seeing fire inches away from my face scared me so I quickly did the wise thing and dropped the menu ablaze onto the wooden deck of the boat the boat survived yet again

the culprit was a candle I hadnt noticed on the table

THAT'S what I like!

A MAN who blames a harmless candle..just doing it's job..for setting FIRE to a wounded boat. And ALL of the passengers. Are you my First Mate? Just curious...

KARMA!

Blain wrote: Now back to the story part (kind of) I hope this is classified as a story but here's a conversation I had with a stranger:

Wtf
Just reading the let take a moment too... Makes its sound wierd.

[e]Sputnik wrote:

Blain wrote: Now back to the story part (kind of) I hope this is classified as a story but here's a conversation I had with a stranger:

Wtf
Just reading the let take a moment too... Makes its sound wierd.

That's halarious.

CalvinIsAwesome wrote: Are blonde jokes alright?

NO! REASONS!

1. I used to be blonde and the women wanted me. (new born)
2. Went grey and the women wanted my money. (early)
3. BALD & these "older" gals with wigs want me. (yesterday)
4. Go ahead with blonde jokes. I just got my "MUCK SHEEP CUT/WITH WIG'S WIGS".


See: www.wigbottomwigs.com

That fire story reminds me of a time:
So, one time, I was chilling in my moms house, and were told my dad had a fire.
Now let me go off topic a little and say that, unfortunately, these are my three top moments in my life I remember( in no particular order):
1. My first home-run (not the unfortunate part)
2. Finding out my parents were getting divorced (was watching the cat in the hat (animated cool version) And saw her packing a suitcase and asked why. She said she was moving away, to which I responded, good one, because that was all the rage in that day, and later she said it was real)
3. Finding out about the fire. (turned out about the same as no.2 PFFT HA! No.2!)

So I come to find out my dad was reading, went to sleep without turning off his candle, and the room was in flames, and all our baby videos/pictures burned.

Oooooohhhhhhhh, funny stories. My bad.

Due to the comma in your name Paul, I can't private message you.

What needs to be cleaned?

Sorry bout all that vorty

I am I really am.

Slenderman wrote: Due to the comma in your name Paul, I can't private message you.

What needs to be cleaned?

Sorry to bother you.
I just didn't things to go downhill so soon.
It was intended to be a positive thread.
Jokes and such.
Some day I'll learn. Today.

(wanna buy a comma?)