[M]Pagan wrote: Teacher at school one day asked her class if they knew the word contagious and if they could use it in a sentence. Quick as a flash little Johnnie's hand shot into the air " I can miss " he shouted . Go on then the teacher said . Well,said Johnnie the other day our neighbour started to paint the outside of his house using a 1/2" paint brush and dad said to mom " it's gonna take the contagious". 
French Canadian version of little Johnny.
Teacher asked the class to use ozinol in a sentence. Of course little Johnny had his arm up first. Reluctantly the teacher picks him...
Ok, I was watching the hockey game with my dad. The Montreal Canadiens were playing the Toronto Maple Leafs. My mom was vacuuming the carpet in the living room while the game was on. Dad got angry and yelled at her "eef you don't get out of da way right now, I'm gonna shove dat vacuum cleaner up your ass...
OZINOL!"